Our Daily Journey (ODJ) with God : When God Ran

 Being in Germany has its pros and cons, first of...... I couldn´t get my ODJ and ....... surprisingly, I am in the mood of starting to read the bible again.... maybe cos it feels comforting to read the bible, with all that I am going through at the moment..... But... No matter what, I find the time and found myself typing in the address to Our Daily Journey webpage by RBC ministries.


Upon arriving on the page, I found myself with this reading of the day..... When God Ran...... it´s a good reading, and it comforted me alot... makes me realize that no matter how up or down our life is, God is always there, especially in our times of need of someone to listen or silently talk to..... 


I hope this reading of the day may lighten up your day as it has enlighten mine...
God bless.....

Straining to see the distant horizon, I squinted my eyes in an effort to catch sight of the person I was waiting for. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind: Does she know where to get off the train? Did she understand my directions? My heart pumped faster as the seconds ticked by. Finally, the person I so wanted to see came into view! In that split second, anxiety was replaced by gladness.

That experience reminds me of the parable of the lost son. The father was waiting for his son’s return. Every day, he would take his vigil at the outpost—looking for the young man he loved. And while the son was “still a long way off, his father saw him coming” (Luke 15:20).

Can you imagine what the father must have been doing to catch a glimpse of the young man at such a great distance? Perhaps he had positioned himself on high ground so that he could see further. Or perhaps he was trying hard to keep his eyes opened despite his weariness.

We don’t know exactly what he was doing, but his efforts paid off. He caught sight of his son while the young man was still far away. And when he saw him, “he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him” (Luke 15:20). The father ran.

In those days, running was considered undignified for the family patriarch, but this father was full of unbridled joy. Jesus told this parable to help the religious leaders— as well as us—understand God’s heart for the lost and the joy He experiences when they return.

Do we share our Father’s heart? In Luke 19:10, Jesus states His personal mission statement. He said, “The Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.” What distance are we willing to go to see the lost come home to Jesus?

NLT 365-day reading plan passage for today: Joshua 23:1-16

Say Goodbye....

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared

In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Cause true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things
we'll wish we'd never said

In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don't you cry
'Cause true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll comfort you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
`Cause a true love never dies

Saying goodbye is always the hardest thing to do.... no matter how I say it so many times... No matter how many times I told myself all has ended and its a new beginning, the pain just keeps lingering... Although, like many says, time will ease the pain... but yet... I want it completely erased.... 

我要永远忘了我对你的爱....

The Sunny Skies

I love our new home...... the windows of the bedroom is facing directly the morning sun.... I love the sun streaming into the bedroom and onto our beds as we lie silently watching tv together on our beds or just reading books together or my baby playing her toys / reading while I am on the lappy working. 

Its been 2 weeks now since we touched down in Germany. So many sights we have seen, even the snow we have seen, although not enough to cover the whole streets or to even build a snowman at the moment... but we have been about and around for 2 weeks, and also staying home just enjoying each other´s company for the day. 

At the moment, we are coping really fine. Adjusting to the weather (although its hard to bear the cold when we are out and about) and the lifestyle..... although having slight problems with the language still, but we are gradually picking up bits and tads from here and there..... due to listening to people talking, or while grocery shopping etc. Apparently, majority people here barely speak english, although the grown ups do know their english, but upon speaking.... *shivers*.... its just like the Malaysians back home speaking broken english..... *sighs*

Guess I should be proud of the fact my english is not broken! ;)

The month of February is slowly coming to an end... bringing to it a new month with new activities. Amelia will be attending Kindy soon while I too have to go back to school to learn the German Language before starting work once again.... So... that´s when my holidaying with my daughter ends...... 

2 weeks...... that´s how long I have been out from my old world. Memories seems a distant away now...... Although we web cam with my parents almost every day in the evening (our time). Haven´t heard from him since I last told him about our departure. I sometimes can´t help but wonder if he is alright...... a bad habit, naturally......

Another one more thing bugging me...... I wanna go to church! ROFL..... Still haven´t found a church around here yet, well.... doubt we can.... Until both me and Amelia fully understands German. As they barely have a service in English, I doubt it would do any good attending church for the time being.

*prays silently*

Our Journey to the wide world of Europe

After touching down on Valentines Day in Berlin, Germany....... my daughter and myself have finally spent 1 week all alone without my parents and any familiar faces here in the cold cold winter of Europe...... My daughter... was blasted with the cold cold weather upon touching down in Berlin Tegel Airport at 10am (GMT +1) on this cold cold Valentines Day.. The temperature outside? -2 degrees.... hell even myself was having problems keeping warm upon our touchdown......

Thankfully, Baby had quite a set of warm winter clothes.... hence she isn´t that cold, although her hands were cold, underneath the gloves.... but, she was so beautiful and cute wearing the full winter outfit, I just enjoyed photographing her throughout the first few days we were out venturing around town.... She was completely cold upon stepping out of our new home... but yet... the gleam of joy in her eyes when she runs down the road or run after the pigeons on the streets or the town centre.... amazing seeing the joy in her eyes!


Its difficult taking my daughter out without freezing her to the core.... but apparently, to certain places, she seems to have much more energy... for example... when going to the playground...... omg... she could forget the cold... and run around joyfully in the playground...... but its good to see the rosy cheeks on my daughter´s face...... from the weather and all......


Can´t wait for spring to come though... when the weather isn´t all that cold anymore.......

The Pain of saying Goodbye

As today was the last day of the month, and being working under K.L instead of Selangor, tomorrow is a public holiday (Federal Territory Day) and then following is Chinese New Year already. Many people in office..... today was the last moments of seeing them!

After nearly 4 years (would be 4 in June), saying goodbye to them ain´t easy. There were many of us... whom we have been close friends, chit chatting, going out lunch together and etc...... the sadness of hugging them goodbye, the sadness of telling them....... we won´t be working together anymore... seems so sad and forlorn..... 


As I slowly packed and settled and discard all necessary items and bidding my time goodbye to all that are working for the last time today, before they break for chinese new year........ the sadness crashes upon me ever so greatly.....

How is it possible that in life, there are always hellos and goodbyes...... is it such .... a human nature, to always bid another goodbye, to lose someone whom you love ever so greatly, or to just...... not see the one you know or love anymore?


Well..... at least I am now facing the pain, once again, after 3 years of saying goodbye to him... I am now saying goodbye to everyone......

12 days more

31st January....... The end of January finally.....

In another 12 more days, my daughter and I will begin our new life once again...... somehow, in these 3 years of separation, we seem to have started our new life twice now..... the first was when we left my ex husband, and now... the 2nd  new life about to start, 10,000km away from home!

Yeap, we are finally moving away!

New place, new friends, new work, new school, new everything!!!

We will be going to Deutschland to start our new life. New home to settle in. Excitement and sadness courses through everyone of us who are involved. The sadness of parting, especially for my parents, from here is great for me. For my baby, I guess it will affect her eventually but then again, she grew up with Grandpa by her side. So, its only natural that her sadness bout Grandpa not around will be only too obvious. *prays* I just hope we can overcome this stage then. 

I am leaving alot of memories behind. Those especially with my ex husband and love. It was sad seeing him break down that day when I told him the news.... How I forced smiles and laughter, was still a miracle to me, although... he thought I find it amusing and was slightly insulted...... *sighs* if you only knew, how much it still hurts seeing you in pain..... but then again, the cold heartless lady you see before you with icy features... its merely just a creation of yours. You thought me well in controlling my emotions, although I am still quite a failure in it.... but believe me....... it hurts even much more than you can imagine........ 

My close friends... and not so close friends.... my colleagues whom I grew to love and hate....... all the bittersweet memories with everyone...... not forgetting his side of the family whom I still keep in contact with even though we are no longer together....... 

I would so miss all of them greatly.......

Sometimes, I really do wish that things were differently.... that whatever happened didn´t happen... but then again, time has a different tale to tell..... God had a different plan for me. He blessed me with a child, made me go through the rough time of keeping her and made me go through the worse separation I ever gone thru with the man I loved for more than a decade..... and making me walk bravely alone with my daughter back into life again. 

I am happier now, in a very vast way. I am thankful for his path that he "craved" out last minute for me. It hurt, yea, I accused Him too, yea (hey.. I am only human!), but.... I finally am at ease, even when seeing him or the girls that were involved in separating us. 

I constantly still pray for his well being and all..... I still care for him. But that´s all that is left with. 

Now, as the days draws nearer, 12 days more to go,

I pray for all those around me.... that each and everyone of us have the strength to move on and to let me and my baby go to venture out on our own. Less hurt, less pains, less conflicts..... And for that one special man, I pray he will find true love one day. And that the lady whom he truly loves will love him even more than I used to love him. I pray God will bless him in this.......

As Chinese New Year draws nearer, as all of us get busier by the day, I and my daughter are busy ourselves.... busy preparing and packing, and most important of all.... busy meeting up with everyone possible for a last goodbye, a last hug..... and if possible, a last photo together (doubt I could get a last photo together with my ex though ROFL).....

Doubting I could even meet up with all in time.... but for those I get to meet, I´m thankful for your time, even if its just a short couple of hours.

We will begin our long travel to our new life in 12 days time......... 

A Public Holiday - Car Wash Day

A public holiday it was....

We woke up quite late ourselves, bout 1130am....... Was nice sleeping in with my beautiful daughter...... Being stuck at home, there wasn´t much to do except to play together and to watch TV together........

Then, I thought of a remarkable idea! Let´s do Car wash together...... My daughter..... looked at me with her big big eyes...... sure... she wanna wash the car together with mummy... but she doesn´t want to get wet! O.o How in the world.... do you expect to do car wash without getting wet?!


But then again... lolx... I hesitate long enough...... my daughter, getting the "fun" of washing the car, sponging my beloved blackie with soap and water....... she completely put her little heart into washing the car.... My "tiny" mistake.... was to pass her the garden hose to spray water on the car! xD

Initially, she did the task of washing off the soap really well..... Then, looking at mummy with that absolutely melting heart cheeky grin of hers, she decided to spray the water onto mummy! xD Hence...... from washing my car, we ended up doing a water fight, with my daughter at a greater bigger advantage as she was holding the garden hose while ...... mummy only has a sponge in her hands!


Too bad there wasn´t anyone available to help take a photo of us while we were water fighting..... I only managed to get few shots of my daughter trying out her hands on washing a car..... but.... none of both of us together doing it :(


And amusingly, after this car wash, she actually asked me... " Mummy, when can we wash your car again?!" O.o


Utter amusement!

January 2011

The 2nd last week of January.....
Time sure seems to fly alot and pretty fast too lately. Or is it always? Just seems like yesterday I was just jotting down my Happy New Year wishes in the blog, and now, a month has crossed!

We have been busy for the month of January, myself busy with work and the last few works that has to be completed. My daughter, busy being a kid.... and busy gradually adapting more to a brand new life we are encountering together as a team. 

My daughter is growing up into a beautiful young lady. This year, she´d be turning 4, in March. Been traveling all over and around Malaysia, especially Peninsular Malaysia, travelled out of Malaysia to Singapore, Perth and so on, and done so many things, seen so many things. 

I am greatly thankful and happy, with the help of my parents taking care of her, myself juggling between work and her deducting completely my social life (do I even have one? Hmmmmmmmzzzz naahhhh ^^), she grows into a remarkable young lady with extra ordinary wonderful intelligence and having a broad mind, unlike some of us who are so "narrow minded" down here.

With all the busy bustling, my daughter also has one incredible sense of humor that just amazes me! She is my source of joy every day upon returning home from work, my wonderful comforter when I need a big big hug, and of course.... the one and only one that drives me completely bananas with her stubbornness (contributor of both her parents... ROFL... my ex husband and myself are god damn bloody stubborn people!) and her 1001 questions especially the WHY questions!


But then again, that´s life! :)


Children growing up, growing older, curiousity grows stronger......... characteristics starts building...... 


Part and parcel of life! :)

Have you ever wonder....... how life is without a child! I simply can´t imagine my life without this cheeky growing baby of mine........ I am learning so much from the eyes of my daughter, and from watching my daughter in our daily lives, while we are out together, etc.... she never fails to amaze me!! 

Now, as January is coming to an end, Chinese New Year fast approaching, our preparations to continue our steadfast journey into life and the busy time of Chinese New Year, I am yet thrown into the hustle and bustle of the wonderful event. On top of that, I am still tempted to taking my daughter and start our Chinese New Year Stops throughout KL once again, but yet, should I do so? I failed to complete 25 stops for Christmas, due to the on going events day to day that took up my time and attention. I wonder if I could do so for Chinese New Year, with our upcoming changes and such....... 


There are few more things I am currently trying to do, to complete before end of the month. Time is running short, February is knocking around the corner....... 


My daughter´s excitement is building up.... excitement + nervousness + anxiousness.......


ROFL


We are a contagious pair!

With the coming of a brand new year.... our children are also once again, starting school in their various schools at various different areas. But....... is sometimes sending our children to school abit tad difficult? Especially the younger ones? Do they actually cling onto you and start crying and such?

Well... I Found this article at ParenThots website regarding on what should parents do about separation anxiety..... I hope it comes in handy for you parents out there! *Cheers*

What to do about separation anxiety

3 January 2011

Be firm and calm when saying goodbye to your child and do not return. He will eventually understand that you're going away but you will come back as promised. - Photo ©iStockphoto.com/ falcatraz

By BRIGITTE ROZARIO

It's the start of the year again. If you've been on leave and are going back to work now, you might face the bawling baby as you leave her with your maid/babysitter.

If you haven't been on leave but it's the first day of school for your child, you might also face the apprehension and some tears from your clingy preschooler.

Yes, it's that time of the year again.

Elaine Yong, lecturer and developmental psychologist at Sunway University College, says about 60% of babies would experience fear of being separated from their primary caregivers.

“ Usually this begins to emerge around 6-8 months and peaks between 12-18 months,” she says.

The reasons for its development are many and varied:

- The infant’s brain begins to mature and start developing a sense of object permanence.

- The quality of substitute care (less responsive and inconsistent substitute caregiver can be a trigger)

- Stressful situations (moving to a new house, new sibling, tension at home).

What to do

According to Yong, parents can overcome separation anxiety in the following ways:

For babies:

- Avoid sending your baby to a new caregiver between the ages of 6 months and 1 year when separation anxiety is likely to peak. If you really have to, ensure that the new caregiver has been introduced to the child in the presence of the child.

- Be calm, say goodbye and leave. Do not return.

- Have practice sessions where you leave for short periods of time.

- Call to check after 20 minutes. Your baby should have clamed down by then.

When leaving for work :

- Set up a goodbye routine. The child will begin to learn to know what to expect.

- Leave your child with a familiar caregiver, such as a family member or relative.

- Inform the child when you will be home. Return home on time as promised.

With toddlers/schoolgoing children :

- Visit the nursery and school together with the child.

- Practise leaving the child and inform the child when you will be back. Keep to the promised time.

Reasons for anxiety

Yong says that there is no indication that there is any correlation between insecurities and separation anxiety in a child.
 

Yong: 'If parents are calm, the child will respond better.'

“Studies have suggested that the temperament of the child may play a role,” she says, adding that an independent and self-confident child is possibly less likely to have separation anxiety.

“ Another reason can also be that the child responds to the parents’ emotional cues. If parents are calm, the child will respond better,” she adds.

Routines help

Yong advises parents to reassure their children each time they go out.

“ The parent can call home after 20-30 minutes and coming back on time is important. Parents should attempt to leave after the child has woken from a nap or just had a meal.

“ At night, create a bedtime routine. Spend extra time reading and cuddling with the child. If the child cries for the parent, keep the visit brief and do not pick up the child. Reassure the child that everything is okay and leave. The child will learn to fall back to sleep,” she says.

If you have a child who is already clingy and cries when you go to work, how then can you even hope of taking a holiday or going out of town for work without her?

Yong advises parents to ensure the child is comfortable with the appointed caregiver before going away for a few days.

“ Have practice sessions of one hour. If the child is all right, parents can have additional practice sessions of longer periods,” she says.

She emphasises the need for parents to be calm and consistent when dealing with their children.

“ If parents do not deal with it in a calm and consistent manner, the child will grow to use it as an excuse to avoid unpleasant and stressful situations.

“ And, if none of the suggestions above work, then consult a doctor or re-evaluate the substitute caregivers,” she says.

When to get help

According to Yong, parents should seek professional help if:

- The separation anxiety lasts up to preschool or primary school years.

- The separation begins to interfere with everyday activities.

- The child has a fear of sleeping alone that goes on beyond a few days.

- The child has nightmares.

- The child vomits, has shortness of breath or faints when the parents leave.

- The child constantly worries that something bad will happen, that she will be kidnapped, lost or there will be a death in the family.

- The child refuses to go to daycare or school.

Yong says, a professional will be able to diagnose if the child has a more severe problem called separation anxiety disorder.

According to the US Surgeon General's website ( www.surgeongeneral.gov/library/mentalhealth/chapter3/sec6.html), separation anxiety disorder is where the anxiety or fear causes distress in the child that it affects social, academic or job functioning and it lasts at least one month.

Children with separation anxiety disorder tend to cling to their parents and even have difficulty falling asleep by themselves at night.

In fact, they cannot even bear being in school or a friend's house – anywhere that their parent is not. The fear of separation can even lead to dizziness, nausea and palpitations.

Although the cause of this disorder is not known, it could be set off by some trauma in a close-knit family. The trauma could be physical/sexual assault, death or illness in the family or even a big move.

If you believe your child's separation anxiety is turning into a disorder, then consult a doctor about it.

Say Goodbye

Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
Because a true love never dies

The tune of this song keeps playing within my mind. The song so sad, so appropriate. Reminiscing the good old times is good sometimes, but yet, when memories surfaces, the hurt and pain happens too. 


Actually... it sort of reminds me in a lot of ways..... the choices I have decided to take, the course of road I took back then. The decisions I made, hurts so much even until today, though the pain is gradually dying out. But..... if it´s the only way for you and me, what else can we do?

Some things just can´t be changed, but then, to be just merely treasured and appreciated. 

Although 3 years has passed (it´s entering our 3rd year), although I still care alot about you, Our last goodbye was said the day we turned away from each other without looking back. My only hope and dreams are that you´d find someone who truly loves you the way I do and that this time, you´d treasure and appreciate her, and not turn a deaf ear to her. 


For no matter how far apart we are, no matter how we both have moved on in our lives, you are and will always be a part of me that can´t be forgotten. Should you ever need a friend or someone to rely on, I am here should you need a friend. Nothing more, nothing less... but just a friend who loved you and have been with you for a whole decade.


God bless in all you do.