We should all lend a hand to stop human trafficking, sex trafficking, child prostitution and violence. Instead of saying, it´s not involving me, so not my problem.

Original Article : What it´s like to be a mum and wife at 13 : The vicious cycle of Child Marriage  (Clickable Link)

What it’s like to be a mum and wife at 13: The vicious cycle of child marriage

• 17 HOURS AGO FEBRUARY 17, 2015 10:19AM

Young mothers often struggle with labour and breastfeeding. Source: Supplied

They are only girls, but they already have children of their own.

Many of the babies are born with complications, far from the nearest hospital, and the mortality rate for mother and infant is sky-high.

Nor does the future look rosy. The daughters of these child brides are born into a cycle of systemic abuse, violence and poverty.

“I thought I’d have a better life, but at the end, it didn’t turn out that way,” says Aracely, who was married to a 34-year-old when she was 11. When she was four months’ pregnant, her husband left, declaring the child wasn’t his. Now 15, she is raising her son on her own.

Sonhita, 13, married her cousin in Bangladesh when she was 10. Source: Supplied

“During the time I was pregnant, he didn’t give me any money,” she says. “He hasn’t even come to see the boy now that he’s a year old.”

Aracely is one of the girls who feature in photojournalist Stephanie Sinclair’s Too Young To Wed project on Guatemala, where it’s legal for a girl to marry as young as 14 — though many are married far younger than that.

The UNFPA says one in nine girls in developing nations will marry before 15, with 50 million likely to marry before their 15th birthday in this decade. They are usually poor, less educated and living in rural areas — and their early marriages make life even worse.

The girls struggle with motherhood because they are far from physically and psychologically ready, say health workers. Their undeveloped bodies make labour and breastfeeding dangerous and difficult.

“Motherhood is hard,” 14-year-old Saida told Ms Sinclair. “When they get sick, you don’t know why. I don’t have experience and don’t know what to do with him.”

Early motherhood means these girls have no chance of a decent education. Source: Supplied

The young mums face an increased risk of STIs, physical and sexual violence and a premature end to their education.

Human rights organisations believe changing the norms that legitimise child marriage should be a priority.

“These [social norms] can and do start to change, once parents and communities understand the harm that child marriage does and once they are able to identify alternatives,” reads the UNFPA report.

Equality Now’s 2014 report, Protecting the Girl Child, calls on governments to end child and forced marriages and related human rights violations. “Child marriage does not take place within a vacuum,” says director Jacqui Hunt. “It is part of a continuum of abuse experienced by a girl and is often linked with female genital mutilation, sex trafficking or force-feeding before marriage, rape, domestic violence and the removal of future opportunities.

“When a child bride gives birth, the vicious cycle of poverty, poor health, curtailed education, violence, instability, disregard for rule of law and legal and other discrimination often continues into the next generation, especially for any daughters she may have.

Child marriage can come hand-in-hand with other abuses. Picture: Equality Now Source: Supplied

“Sadly, child marriage directly affects approximately 14 million girls a year, and in the process legitimises human rights violations and the abuse of girls under the guise of culture, honour, tradition, and religion. It is part of a sequence of discrimination that begins at a girl’s birth and continues throughout her entire life.”

This weekend, the group launched a global report on sex discriminatory laws around the world, using the hashtag #unsexylaws.

It shows in shocking clarity that these discriminatory laws are not simply relics of the past. Just last year, Kenya adopted a marriage act that permits polygamy without consent of the first wife, while Iran’s 2013 penal code maintains that a woman’s testimony is worth less than a man’s.

An Indian Act from 2013 states: “Sexual intercourse or sexual acts by a man with his own wife, the wife not being under fifteen years of age, is not rape”.

In the Bahamas, an act from 1991 defines rape as the act of someone over 14 “having (non-consensual) sexual intercourse with another person who is not his spouse”, thereby permitting marital rape.

In Nigeria, violence “by a husband for the purpose of correcting his wife” is considered lawful, while in Guinea, a wife can have a separate profession from her husband “unless he objects”.

In Yemen’s 1992 act, article 40 suggests that a wife “must permit [her husband] to have legitimate intercourse with her when she is fit to do so.”

The practice means a vicious cycle of poverty and discrimination. Picture: Equality Now Source: Supplied

In the Democratic Republic of Congo: “The wife is obliged to live with her husband and follow him wherever he sees fit to reside.” In Malta, if a kidnapper “after abducting a person, shall marry such person, he shall not be liable to prosecution”.

Ms Hunt adds: “As long as a girl or woman is not equal in the text of a country’s law and its legal system, she cannot fully participate in, or be valued equally in society. Legally, she is of lesser importance.

Eliminating child marriage

“Twenty years after 189 governments pledged to ‘revoke any remaining laws that discriminate on the basis of sex’ as part of the Beijing Platform for Action, only just over half of the laws highlighted in our reports on the subject have been revised, appealed or amended — a great achievement, but one which falls very short of what was envisaged.”

While many poor families hope marrying off their children will help them survive, that’s usually not the case.

Several of the girls Ms Sinclair interviewed were abandoned by their husbands while pregnant, leaving the family with an extra mouth to feed. Others admitted they and their families had found the experience distressing.

“They said I was really little and it’s a lot of responsibility to take care of someone,” said Sulmi, 14. “I was a little sad to be married so young.”

Zali Idy was married at 12 to a 23-year-old in Nigeria. Source: AAP

Is sex the only happy factor in a marriage?

Is Sex the Only Happy Factor in a Marriage?
A Happy Man, A Happy Home


A very interesting topic once again, I found, from The Star Online website....... First it was the news that a club known as the "Obedient Wives Club" has been founded in Malaysia to better and further educate the women folk on how to keep their men tied to them... and then now these distressing newspaper ads......


Being 10,000km away from home (aka Malaysia)..... I somehow can´t help but keep in touch with the news over there... especially when everyone seems to be sharing such "wonderful" news via facebook....... 


Makes me curious..... 


How obedient do people in Malaysia wants the women folks to be? Is every man who hits or rapes or abuses a woman because of not having a good and caring wife? Have anyone come to the conclusion that the man himself probably grew up in an abusive environment? Or that.... he turned pervert and not because of the woman´s fault?


So is it the woman´s fault also when the man has roving eyes when he sees another woman walking by and his wife sitting directly beside him? 


This is not about the wife not being caring and loving or even always misunderstanding her man.... it´s also about the man not being "responsible" over his own actions. It always takes two hands to clap... with one hand, you can´t clap nor make a sound out of it. It´s the same with relationships. So.... I would like to ask then..... what´s the point of being a 101% loving and caring wife when the husband doesn´t even know how to appreciate it and just feels that.... "its not enough"?


Have you ever seen a woman who gave up completely everything of her own, just because of her love for her husband? Only to be blamed later that she doesn´t trust him and care for him?

Insanity of Men

Its lunch time now, as I sat at the receptionist table for the sit in duty of the receptionist whilst she eats lunch., I was browsing through The Star online today and am very sick to the core of reading the rape cases that are happening around here nowadays and nothing is being done about it. Innocent ladies are being the victims here, ruining their lives forever...... don't men have any feelings of sympathy? To destroy a young girl's life?

Reading the news, decided to share these two articles with you all....... is there no way for our own people to stand up and fight and curb these problems instead of just jailing them for a couple of years and they get to walk free?

Wednesday April 21, 2010

Girl raped after being sprayed with liquid
A 19-YEAR-OLD girl was raped by a man who sprayed her with a liquid, causing her to fall off her motorcycle and break her arm, reported Harian Metro.

In the 1.45am incident on Monday, the teenager was riding pillion on the motorcycle driven by her friend near Jalan Pasir Pedamar in Teluk Intan when another motorcyclist drew up beside them, brandishing a spray can.


The man sprayed them with liquid from the can, causing the friend to lose control of the motorcycle.


The girl, who was on her way home after helping her mother at her coffeeshop, broke her left arm in the accident, which also saw her friend suffering injuries to the body and leg.

Hilir Perak OCPD Supt Mohd Zaki Harun said the man then stopped near the girl but instead of helping her, began to molest her.

He also threatened to hurt her with his helmet if she tried to fight back.

“Ignoring her cries of pain, the man then took her to a nearby public toilet and raped her,” he said.


The girl walked home after the incident.


Wednesday April 21, 2010

Teen rapes orphan in classroom
By M. KUMAR and RACHAEL KAM
newsdesk@thestar.com.my

PETALING JAYA: The school became a place of horror for a 14-year-old orphan when she was raped by a classmate during recess at a secondary school in Rawang.


The 3.30pm incident occurred last Tuesday when the Form Two student was alone in her classroom during recess time.

The victim, a quiet teenager, did not report the rape to anyone at first. But, after nearly a week, she found the courage to inform a counsellor from her orphanage before lodging a police report on Monday.

The student has been living at the orphanage since she was nine.

Gombak OCPD Asst Comm Abdul Rahim Abdullah said the assailant was detained at the school several hours after the report was lodged.

“The girl has been sent to the Sela-yang Hospital for a medical checkup,” he said, adding that the boy had been remanded until April 26, to facilititate investigation under Section 376 of the Penal Code for rape.


Deputy Education Minister Datuk Dr Wee Ka Siong said the district education department was helping with the investigation.

“Since both the suspect and the victim are underaged, we cannot disclose much,” he added.

Sources gotten from:
1) Teen Rapes Orphan in Classroom
2) Girl raped after being sprayed with liquid

Intimacy during pregnancy

If you are a first time getting pregnant... ever wondered if there would be a chance or is it risky to have intimacy during your pregnancy? Or........ can we, both partners, can withstand not having sex for 9 months? :)

With my only experience.... sex during pregnancy is kinda..... can be described as fantastic!! Rofl... guess its due to the reason that hormones and all senses are sharper than usual... but nevertheless, my 9 months of pregnancy was still like normal although like doctors recommend, not every... "style" is applicable! ROFL....

Anyways.. I found an interesting article on The Star Online website regarding this topic... and just... merely wanted to share this remarkable article with everyone that drops by....

Wednesday March 17, 2010

Intimacy during pregnancy
THE DOCTOR SAYS By DR MILTON LUM


Numerous concerns often lead to a downturn in sexual activity when a woman is pregnant.


IT IS common for women who are pregnant for the first time, to wonder whether sexual intercourse will affect the developing foetus.

The common questions include whether sexual intercourse will harm the foetus or cause infection and whether it can lead to miscarriage or premature labour.

Another common question in the last trimester of pregnancy is what position to use and if any position is safer than others.

There are many bodily changes in pregnancy that affects a woman’s sex life.

Some women feel sexier. Others are not in the mood, especially when they have nausea and vomiting in the first trimester.

Some women report an increase in libido in the second trimester. When the third trimester comes along, many women report a decrease in libido.


The variation in feelings and experiences are normal. It is important to remember that there is no norm. The feelings and experiences may also vary in the same woman in different pregnancies.

There is an increase in the blood flow to the reproductive organs during pregnancy, causing them to engorge. This increases sensation in some women but is uncomfortable in other women, to the extent that sexual intercourse may be painful.


An orgasm can cause an increase in uterine activity with contractions felt especially in the third trimester. The contractions last a few minutes and then go away, just like the Braxton Hicks contractions.

There may also be changes in the spouse or partner. His interest may wane in the third trimester because of a variety of reasons. It may be because of concern about the health of the pregnant woman and/or fear of harming the pregnant woman and/or the foetus. There may also be anxiety about impending parenthood.


Normal pregnancy
The developing foetus lies in a fluid-filled sac within the uterus. The sac and the uterine muscles protect the foetus from harm. There is a plug of mucus in the cervix that prevents infection from ascending from the vagina into the uterus.

Orgasm may cause some uterine activity which, however, does not harm the foetus. This increased uterine activity is not the same as the contractions that one gets in early labour. So it is safe for women with a normal pregnancy to have sexual intercourse during pregnancy even right up to the time when labour starts.

There is no relationship between sexual intercourse and miscarriage and premature labour in women with a normal pregnancy. In fact, there are reports that women who had regular sex during pregnancy were less likely to go into premature labour.


Sex during pregnancy may also enhance the relationship with the spouse or partner during the pregnancy and after childbirth.


It is important to confirm with the doctor on a regular basis that there are no pregnancy problems and that the pregnancy is normal.

There are certain conditions which, if present, would result in the doctor advising to refrain from sexual intercourse.


The doctor should be consulted without delay if there is bleeding and/or pain during pregnancy, whether associated with sexual intercourse or not.

An obstetric examination and an ultrasound will usually be done to elucidate the cause of the bleeding and/or pain and reassure that the foetus is all right.


The placenta may sometimes lie on the cervix (placenta praevia). In such a situation, the doctor will advise refraining from vaginal intercourse altogether.



If there is recurrent bleeding and there is no placenta praevia, the doctor may advise a reduction in the frequency of sex. This does not mean that one cannot partake of other forms of sexual activity.



The risk of infection to the foetus is not increased if the man does not have a sexually transmitted infection. If he does, it should be treated and once cured, sexual intercourse can be resumed. However, if the man has herpes, it would be advisable to refrain from sexual intercourse. If a pregnant woman gets genital herpes for the first time, there is a small likelihood that the foetus would be infected.



The doctor would also advise the pregnant woman to refrain from sexual intercourse if there is leakage of the fluid in the sac (liquor) surrounding the foetus because of the risk of infection of the liquor and through it, the foetus, as well. If there is a history of weakness of the cervix, it would also be advisable to refrain from sexual intercourse.


As the abdomen increases in size with advancing pregnancy, the woman may be uncomfortable with the traditional man on top position. It is advisable to find alternative positions. By trying out various other positions, the couple will find one that they are both comfortable with.

It is safe to have sexual intercourse in a normal pregnancy. It is important to check with the doctor on a regular basis that there are no pregnancy problems.



The doctor may advise refraining from sexual intercourse when certain conditions are present. One would need to adapt as pregnancy advances.

■ Dr Milton Lum is a member of the board of Medical Defence Malaysia. This article is not intended to replace, dictate or define evaluation by a qualified doctor. The views expressed do not represent that of any organisation the writer is associated with.

Malaysian teachers say ‘no’ to sex education

Ok... I found this totally amusing and interesting article...... that was on The Star online.... Its title caught my eye....... regarding the sex education in our country.....

I wonder when are people gonna realize the importance of this sex education amongst the younger generation? Why... are we.... living in the stone ages? Where everything seems to be a big big taboo?

Published: Tuesday March 2, 2010 MYT 3:26:00 PM
Updated: Tuesday March 2, 2010 MYT 3:49:36 PM

Malaysian teachers say ‘no’ to sex education (Updated)

KUALA LUMPUR: Malaysian teachers are saying “no” to teaching sex education in schools.

They lack professional training in teaching the subject, National Union of Teaching Profession (NUTP) secretary-general Lok Yim Pheng said Tuesday.

She said while the union fully supported the Government’s move to provide sex education in schools, “sadly, the teachers lack formal training in the complexity and sensitivity of the subject and are not confident to teach it.”

Lok said the teachers were afraid they might be sued by the parents “if they were to make mistakes in imparting the knowledge of sex to the pupils.”

Malaysia is a multiracial, religious and cultural nation with each ethnic group having its own notion on the subject, which made the teaching more challenging, she noted.

The NUTP is the country’s biggest teachers union representing 160,000 teachers, which is approximately half the teaching profession.

Lok said the union wanted the Education Ministry to first hold discussions with stakeholders on the pros and cons of the move before making a firm decision.

Currently, the subject was taught in “bits and pieces” from the primary level to secondary level, in the absence of a proper structured course.

Of late, sex education has become a very important issue in the country, with an increasing number of unwed mothers, many of them students.

Meanwhile, a Bernama survey among students, parents and teachers showed that all groups were in favour of sex education but were unsure of the form and content of the course.

Teenage student Jayaraman said he was all for it, but was unsure what and how the teachers were going to teach because “we have more girls than boys in our class and most of our teachers are female.”

Abdul Raof Bidin, 38, who has two school-going children, felt that it was necessary to teach the subject.

“It should be handled with care as it could easily be misconstrued and do more harm than good, if wrongly imparted,” he said.

Another parent, M. Arumugam, 44, believes it was better for medical professionals like doctors and nurses to impart the subject to students.

”Maybe the Education Ministry should consult the Health Ministry and come up with some kind of arrangement for teachers to be provided with on-the-job training,” he said.

Betty Lee, who has been a teacher for 24 years, felt that the subject was best handled by “teachers who themselves are mothers and know how to handle such a complex subject.”

”With due respect, not all teachers can teach the subject, and the ministry should be very careful in selecting the right candidate for the job,” said the 50-year-old. -- Bernama