A True Friend

Tuesday February 17, 2015

A few months after his son´s tragic death, my friend told me that people who had been close were now avoiding him and his family. He said it was as if people no longer wanted to be around them. I asked him why he thought the poor comforters were acting this way. His answer troubled me, for I knew it was the hard truth : "When people don´t feel they can fix a situation, they try to pretend it´s not there. They feel embarrassed."

We tend to condemn Job´s friends for their incorrect representation of God and Job´s situation. Indeed, it´s true that they got things woefully wrong. But at least they came! (Job 2:11). Not only did they show up, they wept with their friend (v.12) - just as we´re instructed to do in Romans 12:15. Later, knowing that they couldn´t fix the situation, they simply sat with Job instead of talking or walking away. What a comfort it is when a true friend simply sits with another in their pain, offers no counsel, but stays nonetheless.

Sadly, Job´s friends didn´t keep their mouths shut. They offered their human "wisdom" and soon proved by their comments how little they understood. But, before that, they had been true friends of the highest order!

Before we condemn the poor comforters of Job, let´s reflect on this : God sent the men to Job and they were initially a comfort to him. And later, His rebuke of them was far from terminal! In fact, god allowed Job to minister to his friends even though they had unsuccessfully ministered to him (Job 42:7-9). He knew that they had wanted to help, but went about it in the wrong way.

Let´s choose to draw close to those who are grieving and hurting. Our help may not be perfect, but true friends will reach out. - Russell Fralick

Read
Job 2:11-13
When Job´s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon hi, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

John 15:12-17
My command is this : Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master´s business. Instead I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command : Love each other.

Question to Ponder
Are you available to comfort those who mourn, to weep with those who weep, even when you feel inadequate?
How can you be a true friend this week to a person who needs one?

**Article taken from ODJ (Our Daily Journey with God) Dec 2014 - Feb 2015 issue

Better than Myself

Sunday December 7, 2014

Charles complained to his friend about some lower back pain. He was seeking a sympathetic ear, but his friend gave him an honest assessment. "Your back isn´t your problem," he pointed out. "It´s your stomach. Your stomach is so big it´s pulling on your back."

Would you have been offended if someone said that to you?

Charles shared that he resisted the temptation to be offended. He lost the weight and his "back" problem went away. Charles recognised that "an open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy" (Proverbs 27:3-6).

The trouble with most of us is that we´d rather be ruined by praise than helped by criticism. Truth hurts. It bruises our ego. It calls for change. It makes us uncomfortable.

We need to recognise that true friends don´t find pleasure in hurting us. Rather, they love us too much to deceive us. They´re people who show loving courage by pointing out what we probably already know well - things we´ve found hard to accept and truly address. They tell us what we need to hear and not only what we want to hear.

Author Vaughn Roberts wrote, "There is a certain 'niceness' to a friendship where I can be, as they say, myself. But what I really need are relationships in which I will be encouraged to become better than myself. Myself needs to grow a little each day. I don´t want to be the myself I was yseterday. I want to be the myself that is developing each day to be more of a Christ-like person."

Do you have friends who are helping you grow in Christ? Make an effort to maintain those friendships. They´ll help you become better than today´s version of yourself.  - Poh Fang Chia

Read
Proverbs 27:5-10
Better is open rebuke than hidden love.
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.
Like a bird that strays from its nest is a man who strays from his home.
Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one´s friend springs from his earnest counsel.
Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father, and do not go to your brother´s house when disaster strikes you - better a neighbour nearby than a brother far away.

Proverbs 27:27
You will have plenty of goats' milk to feed you and your family and to nourish your servant girls.

Ephesians 4:15
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. 

Question to Ponder
How well do you take criticism? 
Why is it vital that you accept hard words spoken in love and speak the truth in love to others?

**Article taken from ODJ (Our Daily Journey with God) Dec 2014 - Feb 2015 issue.