Today, I feel like I do not belong

Fa Abdul

 | September 17, 2015

Why was the hatred that was spewed at the rally met with silence? Why did the Malay leaders not speak out against it?

COMMENT

A few weeks ago, while my friends and I were having a late supper at a mamak place in Jalan Ipoh, an elderly Malay gentleman in his 70s invited himself to our table. He then congratulated us on being ‘friends’.

“It is such a rarity to see people of different races having gatherings such as this,” he said as he shook our hands and took some time to get to know each of us.

My friends and I found it pretty amusing. We didn’t see anything unusual about us hanging out together. I mean, we do lots of things together all the time – we put on theatre shows, we handle acting workshops, play board games, celebrate birthdays, go on holidays, have potlucks and cookouts, watch movies, enjoy karaoke sessions… we even find comfort in each other when a shoulder to cry on is greatly needed.

While it was nice being applauded by the Malay gentleman for holding on to the Malaysian spirit, I thought it was kind of sad to have someone congratulate you for having friends of other races. I mean shouldn’t this be the norm in a country which takes pride in its multiracial status?

Today I finally understand the Malay gentleman’s surprise at the closeness he observed between the multiracial group he came across sharing a meal at the mamak shop. Maybe, we were never meant to be together after all.

As I browsed through reports on the Red Shirts gathering, and watched the video clips of what transpired and what the protestors and spokesperson of the rally had to say, my heart sank.

“Enough is enough. This is our land. Menjadi warganegara bukan bermakna kita ada hak bersama. Pendatang is pendatang. Babi is babi.”

The people I saw preaching those words weren’t people who had been dragged over and paid to say such things. They seemed like intelligent people. They seemed like my peers. They could have been my neighbours and my colleagues.

If educated young Malay folks had such strong hatred for the non-Malays, I fear for my future in this country I call my home.

But why? What have I done wrong to be treated in such a despicable way? Is it my fault that my ancestors weren’t Malay? Is it my fault that I have Indian blood running through my veins?

I have been a good child to my motherland all these years. And I can’t put into words how much I love and treasure my Malaysia. But today I feel like I do not belong here.

I used to believe that my Malay friends were the real Malays while those inciting hatred were puppets under the influence of others. But today as our atmosphere filled with so much hatred, my world came tumbling down. I did not see anyone standing up for me.

While some of my Malay friends ridiculed the Red Shirts Rally and some posted pictures with hashtags #IamMalaysian, the rest remained silent. As for me, I tried very hard to crack some jokes on social media to take my attention away from what the rally had turned into. But after a few attempts, I couldn’t keep it up. It had gotten to me.

The thing is, if only the Malay leaders who had been so opposed to the Red Shirts Rally, would have uttered a few words to console our bleeding hearts, it would have made a difference. It would have been much appreciated. If only my Malay friends had offered words of comfort to ease our troubled minds, instead of joking about images of Air Asia stewardesses dressed in red…that would have meant a lot.

I find myself wishing they had been a little bit more sensitive. Is that too much to ask?

All my life I have been proud to be Malaysian. All my life I have been confident that if I was hanging on a cliff, my Malaysian brothers and sisters could be counted on to give me a hand. Today, I am not sure.

In my 40 years of life, I have contributed to this country and its people in so many ways. I have raised my two children to love this nation and to contribute to society when they are capable of standing on their own two feet. I have even written articles calling those who abandoned this country for another as unpatriotic. But today, I ask myself if I was wrong all along.

Maybe this isn’t my country. Maybe I do not belong here. Do I sound bitter? Trust me, it’s nothing compared to how I feel inside.

For what it is worth, thank you Malaysia for putting me in my place.

Original Artilce : Today I Feel Like I Do Not Belong (Clickable Link)

Always

Monday March 9, 2015

I was talking with a friend whose marriage had ended in a divorce. For years he tried to apologise and to rebuild a relationship that was broken. His wife, however, was bitter over an event that she couldn´t forgive - or forget. The event involved a loving act he had done to help her, but she didn´t see it that way. And her heart became stone.

The prophet Malachi brought a message of love and forgiveness to God´s people. Though they had sinned against God and had for decades been brutally carried off into exile as a means of His discipline, they had been permitted to return to their homeland. Knowing they were beaten down from their experiences in Babylon, God said to them, "I have always loved you" (Malachi 1:2). The people, cynical and sceptical, retorted, "Really? How have you loved us?" God then declared His control over human events and His promise to deal with Judah´s adversaries (vv.2-5) - something very loving!

Later, He said, "I am the Lord, and I do not change" (3:6). Had He allowed His people to be brought into captivity due to their sin? Yes. Did He love them enough to do so? Yes. Had He patiently waited for the returned exiles to repent of their lack of true worship and to stop doubting Him? (vv. 7-8, 13-14). Yes.

God stood before His people offering unchanging love and forgiveness. But He also sought the right heart response : "Those who feared the Lord spoke with each other, and the Lord listened to what they said" (v.16). Of those faithful believers God said, "They will be my own special treasure" (v.17).

Due to difficult events, perhaps your heart for God has grown cool and has started to harden. Remember that He waits for you with open arms (Luke 15:20). You´re the special treasure He loves - always! - Tom Felten

Read
Malachi 1:1-5
An oracle : The word of the Lord to Israel through Malachi
"I have loved you," says the Lord.
"But you ask, 'How have you loved us?'"
"Was not Esau Jacob´s brother?" the Lord says. 
"Yet I have loved Jacob, but Esau I have hated, and I have turned his mountains into a wasteland and left his inheritance to the desert jackals."
Edom may say, "Though we have been crushed, we will rebuild the ruins."
But this is what the Lord Almighty says : "They may build, but I will demolish. They will be called the Wicked Land, a people always under the wrath of the Lord. You will see it with your own eyes and say, 'Great is the Lord - even beyond the borders of Israel!' "

Malachi 3:6-18
"I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you," says the Lord Almighty.
"But you ask, 'How are we to return?'"
"Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, 'How do we rob you?' "
"In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse - the whole nation of you - because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not cast their fruit," says the Lord Almighty. "Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the Lord Almighty.
"You have said harsh things against me," says the Lord.
"Yet you ask, 'What have we said against you?' "
"You have said, 'It is futile to serve God. What did we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly the evildoers prosper, and even those who challenge God escape.' "
Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name.
"They will be mine," says the Lord Almighty, "in the day when I make up my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as in compassion a man spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.

Psalm 103:1-5
Praise the Lord, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle´s.

Question to Ponder
What difficulties have caused you to doubt God or to turn from Him?
How does the fact that He always loves you encourage your heart today?

**Article taken from ODJ (Our Daily Journey with God) March 2015 - May 2015 issue