To Suffer Alone

Sunday, November 9 2014

In an episode of Downtown Abbey (a historical English drama), beloved housemaid Anna Bates is brutally raped. It was heart-wrenching to watch her try to keep it a secret. The head housekeeper, Mrs Hughes, found Anna shortly after the assault - bruised, crying and hiding in a corner. Despite the strong urgings of Mrs. Hughes, Anna told her to tell no one, not even her husband. She was not only afraid he would kill her assailant, but she also felt "dirty" and believed the attack was somehow her fault.

Anna´s feelings and silence are typical and understandable in victims of sexual assault. The shame that victims feel - though undeserved - is beyond words.

The Bible also contains a disturbing story of sexual assault. Tamar, King David´s virgin daughter, was raped by her half brother Amnon (2 Samuel 13:1-20). But rather than hide what happened, Tamar grieved openly (vv. 18-19). Two years after the assault another of Tamar´s brothers sought revenge. Absalom killed Amnon, throwing King David´s family and kingdom into chaos (vv. 23-28).

Some might argue that the royal family's upheaval could have been averted if Tamar had simply kept quiet. NO! Family bitterness and division grew because Amnon acted selfishly and wouldn´t take responsibility for violating Tamar.

To those who are victims of sexual assault or any form of abuse, please know that it is not your fault! Nor is it God´s desire for you to carry life´s heaviest burdens alone (Galatians 6:2). What´s often worse than the violation(s) itself is a lifetime of suffering alone in the darkness. If you´ve been abused or are the victi of someone else´s selfishness, tell a person who can help you. You can discover that what is shareable slowly becomes more bearable. - Jeff Olson

Read

2 Samuel 13:1-20

In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.

Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David´s brother Jonadab was a very shrewd man. He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king´s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won´t you tell me?"

Amnon said to him, "I´m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom´s sister."

"Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, 'I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.' "

So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand."

David sent word to Tamar at the palace : "Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him." So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.

"Send everyone out of here," Amnon said. So everyone left him. Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "Come to bed with me, my sister."

"Don´t, my brother!" she said to him. "Don´t force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don´t do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you."

But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.

Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, "Get up and get out!"

"No!" She said to him. "Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me."

But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, "Get this woman out of here and bolt the door after her." So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing a richly ornamented robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornamented robe she was wearing. She put her hand on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.

Her brother Absalom said to her, "Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet now, my sister; he is your brother. Don´t take this thing to heart." And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom´s house, a desolate woman.

Galatians 6:2

Carry each other´s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Question to Ponder

What burden of shame have you been carrying alone?

Name one person with whom you can open up and share. How can you experience God´s love through that person?

**Article taken from ODJ (Our Daily Journey with God) Sept - Nov 2014 Issue.