Selamat Hari Merdeka @ Happy 51st Merdeka Day!

To all Malaysian readers out there, happy celebrating Merdeka´s day today! 51 long years of independence for the fellow citizens of Malaysia. 


I wonder how was the celebration back home, 10000km away from me, today? Was it glorious? Did everyone put aside their differences and appreciate and celebrated this memorial day together? Or...... are they still biting each others neck on who is more superior in power n etc still?


Looking back over all these years, and my growing up years.... Malaysia has indeed changed alot..... became more and more modernized (although cannot compare with the ever fast pace Europe...) and we, as citizens have been through alot together as one country, one nation. However, as the years passes by, somehow we tend to see alot more changes, especially politically. Its really sad, to see a nation that consists of so many different types of races and religions living so harmoniously so long coming to an end with their endless bickering of who is more superior and who has more ruling over what. What has become of the Malaysia that I was growing up with? The people who live together harmoniously irregardless of skin color, race or religion?


Sometimes, makes me wonder........ 


Are mankind always destined to fight for stupid things in life?

Selamat Hari Raya aka Happy Zuckerfest! :D

 So, the fasting month has finally concluded worldwide and today worldwide, everyone is celebrating Raya - which is known as Zuckerfest here in Germany. Was kinda amused actually when I first heard that name..... cos translated, Zucker actually means sugar..... so when my lecturer first said that there wasn´t class today as it was Zuckerfest, my first thinking was....."Huh?! These people actually have a sugar day?!" Hahahahaha well, then only I found out that Zuckerfest is actually Raya for the Muslims here. :)


Anyways, today, with no class to attend, but my baby having kindergarten as usual (her kindergarten is a Christian kindergarten so no Zuckerfest holiday for her), I was invited by Audrey, one of my Malaysian friends in Germany, to attend the Buka Raya makan makan at the Malaysian Embassy today! Initially, I was kinda reluctant to go as I didn´t know where about this place is and secondly, I haven´t even been there before since setting foot into the German soil.... xD But then again, curiousity got the better of me. And believe me.... I don´t regret not going for this event! The Rendang and ketupat and such there... OMG.... reminded me so much of home..... I am seriously wondering where they managed to buy such spices down here in Germany!!!!!! The food served here is typically tasting like food back home... and not at all the German way of cooking the asian food....... 


It´s not that I have anything against the people here cooking the Asian food, its just that they don´t exactly taste the same.... xD And the food served here at the embassy today.... omg..... *sighs* I officially miss the mamak and the malay rendang and such!!!!


The embassy isn´t all that grand like the embassies situated directly near the Reistag but it has it´s own elegance...... there were many Muslims (surprise surprise as it is Raya....) and fairly few chinese that turned up...... Doubt it is even the exact population of Malaysians available or living in Germany, but it feels like home being here eating these wonderfully cooked food....... and I guess I have to brush up my spoken German as they definitely speak better than I do! *ROFL*

Managed to get a few photos, although am only posting 3 of it up....... 


And so....... these are the people my daughter and myself hang out with whenever we have the time to ;) *ahem ahem* we are blending in now.......... ^^

My gorgeous angel of my life and myself :)

Photo taken when I picked her up from Kindergarten and while waiting for the bus, we decided to take a photo of ourselves together.....

Am so proud seeing her grow each day, although I have to say..... growing children arent easy.......... :-s I now know the difficulties of being a mother..... :)

Winds of Change

Winds of change... that´s what I would call that is happening at the moment......

The weather changed drastically during the previous week, throughout the weekend and even till today. Many say Autumn weather is already starting as the temperature drops tremendously and the skies are starting to be even gloomier than before. Night fall appears by 830pm instead of the previous summer time 11pm. Hard to be wearing thin clothes out lately as the weather changes too drastically and you probably either be caught in the harsh bitter cold or get wet from the rain..... Time to start taking out all the winter clothes. 

And also time to start shopping for full snow and winter clothes to brace our first winter together in Germany. Shoes, clothes, jackets etc...... guess have to find one Saturday to go check things out as shops here don´t open on Sundays at all, yeap... you read correctly.... here the Sabbath day is really practiced and not just speech. In fact, shops down here closes at 8pm on Weekdays and 6 pm on Saturdays.... makes shopping all the more interesting -.- Sunday is strictly a family day. Other than the F&B line, everything else is closed, even the major shopping malls! And Sunday is the day where you´d just see all the familes on the streets of Berlin or in parks or woods having picnics together with their loved ones or families. Amazing ain´t it?! I wonder why such things are not practiced in our country.

With the coming of winter, comes our first celebration of Christmas far away from my homeland. I wonder how Christmas is like here. I know they are more into the celebration than in Malaysia, as it is a Muslim country. What more..... chances of having a white christmas is there...... woots, our first white christmas, baby and myself. ^^

Am also looking forward to November, hopefully we can be travelling to Scotland in November... *Keeps fingers crossed*

Coming to an end

It´s the 2nd last week of August now..... another month coming to an end... with the end of this month, slowly marks the end of Summer and eventually the beginning of Autumn.


A lot has happened during this times. I have finally closed down and deleted my older facebook account, leaving only one alive. Connections to my past have been all severed. Only preserving those I know will never link me back to him and his new girlfriend (and maybe his new wife) :) In a way.. I am very happy, but yet in a strange way I am sad. I am happy that he has moved on and that the girl he´s dating (is actually someone we know..... his ex-colleague) is somewhat a nice girl... but I am sad that finally all has ended and we have moved on although I know deep inside me a part of him still stays... Guess this part of him that stays will always stay till the day I die..... 


Anyways... moving on to happier things. 


Summer holidays has ended and I have now started back classes...... sending my daughter to school and then making my way, once again, to classes every morning. Lessons are tougher now, as we enter the 2nd book and stage of my course. But then again, I enjoy studying back once again. As how my daughter is enjoying kindergarten, meeting and mixing around in school.


Moving of the new house is done...... arranging and decorating not really so. Can say it´s only 70% arranged and nailed up. Guess must have somehow "lost interest" in doing hard work every weekend... so we are kinda slacking at the moment. Our living room aka TV room / Family room is in a mess.... thankfully our bedrooms are all intact and arranged. Especially Amelia´s room... completely arranged and fully furnished!


Have met a new friend here from Malaysia - Sabah to be exact - and she married a German and have been living here for 6 years. Our daughters click together.... and we try to meet up as much as we can to just chit chat and to let our kids roam around freely. It´s really feels good to finally have someone "rojak" here that speaks Malay English and etc... ^^ and not just pure German. Somehow makes me miss home more.... which at the moment I am hardening myself to not think as I don´t want to go back now. *its complicated*


We are planning to go to Scotland for our Autumn / Winter holidays in November. Plans are all in the move.... just the finalization of the holiday plans is all we need. Looking forward to going there..... time to relax and forget....... 


Did you know I miss you so much? *sighs*

Sick

So, it was a bad idea of having a cough for a duration period of 3 weeks long. Today, I ended up going to the doctor (finally) to check out. I have been coughing non stop on and off for 3 weeks now. And lately, coughing is unbearable. Chest hurts tremendously and then head starts spinning. Was even asked to go for an X Ray to check out whats wrong.


Thankfully, Amelia´s cold and cough have subsided a couple weeks ago... :-s Guess the wacky weather here is the cause of my misery..... *sighs*

Precious Moments

Yet another ordinary day. A cloudy windy cold day, without the sun to brighten or cheer up the day. But yet, it doesn´t dampen the spirits of myself and my daughter as we happily ran for the bus, after picking her up from school, to reach to our favourite afternoon spot once again.


The grass was fresh and slightly wet from the rain..... the air fresh and cool..... the rivers running rapidly as we made our way into the woods once again to be engulfed by nature herself. 

I love these precious moments spent with Amelia...... I love the preciousness of these exact moments to remind me of how I strived and struggled to keep her back then... Now, as I watch her grow day by day..... with all the "ways of life" and her curiosity, and her stubbornness and her "I know what is better for me" attitude, I just can´t help but swell with pride over my little growing baby who is now 4 years and nearly 5 months old.


I am a very proud mummy. My baby is not only independent, but yet also very helpful in every possible way. Most of it, is many thanks to my parents, - they have help brought up my daughter in the very best way ever, although that includes being a very spoilt little grandchild of theirs. Now, as she is 6 months away from them, living a new life here in Germany with her mummy, she is my most precious and most "heartaching" (especially when she fights back or being completely stubborn or when I have to scold her for her misbehaving ways) little angel. 


I try to document her every single daily life and growth in photos... ever since she was born right up to the very moment of life. A memory of my little baby´s childhood. She has grown alot and endured more than a child her age should. Parts of it, I feel sorry for.... some things couldn´t be avoided no matter how hard I try.


But now, with our new lives...... she has a new home, new surroundings, and most importantly new friends and family around us.


We do miss home alot, both of us. Miss my parents (her grandparents) - on both sides (my ex and his family too) alot, miss the friends we knew back home and always hang out with, miss the simplicity (well... compared certain things to Europe, we are quite slow paced) of life back home and for me..... the foood! *rofl* Although some may not think so, especially for my part. But I guess... that´s part of life..... I wonder if we would be able to go back for a visit next year or so? Or will things get too haywire to even travel near Malaysia?


Nevertheless........ I have learnt that.... its best to grasp and appreciate the moment. And for us, my daughter and myself, we document most of memories in the forms of our photos :)

The temperature drops.....

Coming mid of August.... and so the temperature is gradually dropping...... the weather... from my wonderful blue sunny skies, the clouds are threatening our day to day lives. The wonderful tall green trees are gradually turning brown, starting from the top of the trees and slowing the whole tree. Autumn is definitely near!

The hot weather seems so short. And now the cold has returned. I wonder if it would just suddenly skipped to Winter without the signs of Autumn. Weather lately is so unpredictable.......  Baby is kinda confused now.. haha every morning before going to school, now she has to ask "Mummy, do I need to wear long or short?".... Initially, it was always as short as possible... but nowadays, every day is slightly different from yesterday. xD 

Today, we detoured on our way home. Instead of walking at the woods edge, we decided to walk inside the woods and enjoy mother nature at its best ^^ I really just can´t help enjoying the wonder and beauty of the parks and woods all around here. We don´t have to go far..... situated just opposite our new apartment, this lush green world of mother nature is just within our grasp every day..... guess I will really miss it during winter this year... xD

Wonder how this place will look like in winter. Wonder how our first winter will be like in Germany? First white Christmas hopefully? Will everything be completely bare? No trees? No greens? All trees in "sleeping mode"? 

Alas, for us.... it is just a mere speculation at the moment...... for we do not know what will Winter hold for us..... For now, as we daily go about our daily work and school, baby and I.... we relish the idea of relaxing ourselves after work and school in this remarkable haven that is "hidden" in the city area, surrounded by acres of large land and trees and rivers that flow gently with the flow..... And my daughter happily skipping around plucking the wild flowers while running around chasing the birds that sometimes fly to the ground for food and sometimes, even sometimes.... when we bring our stationaries...... do some drawing and writing while relaxing with the sound of the birds singing sweetly high up in the trees all around us. :)


For us..... it is our HAVEN. Away from the eyes of the world, except for the eyes of our God.

August 2011

Its 107am, 1st of August 2011.


Calendar wise, it´s still Summer time here in Germany. Temperature wise.... feels like Autumn is hitting in early this year! Even the trees are shedding it´s leaves already and some, starting to get bald in the tree...... Sometimes, it sure is rather amazing looking at nature this way! 


Time sure seems to fly alot. Seems just like yesterday I was packing and getting ready to leave for Germany with my daughter..... but now, looking back, we have been away from Malaysia for 6 months now! Sure is a long time we have been gone........ Feels so short though.


With us being gone for so long, I still keep tabs on back home... and I find the news of Malaysia rather disturbing at the moment, especially after the Bersih Rally. Now... many who read what I post in facebook, or certain articles that I share here thinks that I have forgotten Malaysia the instant I touched European soil etc (yea I have received these wonderful remarks... -.-) . I find these people who have actually commented and thought of me as such stupid and ironic. First of, no matter where we go, home is where our heart is. Secondly...... I criticize the ironicness of what is happening back home, but doesn´t mean I forget Malaysia or hate it. Malaysia is a great place, but screwed up people who is at the moment taking power too much for granted.... Guess this is what happens when you rule for too long huh? 


I seriously hope... that this doesn´t end up becoming an international affair of sorts as I still would love to go back to Malaysia to see my parents and family... and also to see someone there (though I guess that person wouldn´t even wanna meet me anyways...)  still. My history, my life, my love are all there.... so please, the government of Malaysia... don´t be so selfish and power insane..... and care for the citizens before it becomes every body´s regret......


On a more day to day basis.......
Amelia is entering her 3rd month of Kindergarten here. She´s learnt alot of new German words or short phrases, but not enough to talk a full sentence in German just yet. She´s grown taller and more beautiful...... and like every child, getting naughtier and starts expressing and experimenting on how far her limits are. So now I know the hardships and the pains of being a parent...... I remember how I used to scorn and hated my parents for nagging me..... and now, having my little girl of my own... lolx.... and with the genes of both me and my ex husband in her..... *ROFL* it sure is remarkably hard being a single mum handling her baby! But we are coping fine... even if she has to learn the hard way and her mummy have to cry in pain disciplining her.... we will survive this ordeal together......


Summer break is almost over...... my courses will be starting back once again........ so means I wouldn´t be as free as I am at the moment... though I do hope that the chaos of our new home can be settled fast... hate this... messiness and such in the new apartment at the moment. So disoriented at the moment..... some of the things can´t even be found as I can´t remember which box I packed it into! I think, the only place in the entire apartment that is neatly arranged and furniture and such is completed is my baby´s room! My daughter is very proud of her own bedroom.... as she was the one that decided to paint and design it the way she wanted...... creativity is what she has, although my dad was abit.... hahah shocked.... at the way she decided to paint it! xD


But then again, who should stop a child´s creativity? ^^


Well at least... she has better creativity than me :P