This article totally got my attention.

Parents nowadays are totally busy with work that they seldom sepdn time together with their children... even during meal times. They normally leave their children to eat alone or together with the maids and such... and not even spending quality time together with their children. Although meal times are short, and maximum is bout an hour, I feel as parents we really should take time to have meals with our children....

I found this article..... hopefully that you guys will find this article useful in the future

Why family meals are important

21 February 2010 By Dr GOH CHEE LEONG

MEALTIMES are a special time for you and your young child. It may be the only time of the day when your family comes together. At other times, parents may be occupied with work or household responsibilities, while children are away at school. However busy we all are, we nevertheless need to eat.

Thus, having meals with your family provides an amazing opportunity for you and your spouse to spend time together with your child. Eating together enables you to foster your child’s development, coach, and monitor your child’s behaviour, and enjoy each other’s company.

The benefits of eating together as a family are endless! Skipping this activity will cause your child to lose out on these precious opportunities to develop as a person.

Tested and proven

Family mealtimes have been the subject of considerable scholarly studies. Researchers from various fields, from the field of nutrition to the field of psychology, have conducted extensive research on the outcomes of family mealtimes. Each study has consistently showed that the positive effects of dining together as a family extend far beyond what we assume.

Some of these include:

● Better nutrition. Children who eat with their families have lower rates of both malnutrition and obesity compared to children who do not.

Research has shown that a higher frequency of family meals is associated with increased consumption of fruits, vegetables, and other essential nutrients, and lower intake of fried food and soft drinks.

Additionally, dining together with parents allows children to observe the positive nutritional habits that their parents adopt, leading children to make healthier food choices when not dining with their parents.

● Enhanced family connectedness. You are more likely to pass on family values and traditions to your child during regular mealtimes. In fact, the social relationships developed while sharing a meal will reinforce your child’s sense of belonging to the family. This helps build a strong, healthy, and resilient family unit.

● Better social and communication skills. Eating with adults allows your child to observe the behaviour of others in a social setting and to practice social skills. Participation in table conversations also enables him to acquire a wider vocabulary and acquire general knowledge. In fact, it has been suggested that it is these skills that enable children who have frequent family meals to, reportedly, perform much better in school.

● Protection against risk behaviours. The US Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) found in their 10-year study that teens who have frequent family meals are less likely to smoke, drink, and use drugs. This isn’t surprising, as the level of family and adult support that is built from having family meals serves as a great buffer against such risk-taking behaviours.

As a parent, you can shape the culture of the home. So make it a point to have regular family mealtimes. Encourage every member of the family to sit together at the dinner table.

Research shows that while the numbers of families who have meals together remain high at 80%, that number in bigger cities is dropping quickly.

The quality factor

Realise this; Just because the whole family is eating together does not mean that you are eating right. Getting the family together is just half the battle. How you conduct these family dinners are just as important.

You may be sitting together, but if everyone is silent, you and your family are no better off than if you were all doing your own thing. Quality is the key. Make family meals count instead of treating them as something you feel obligated to do because experts recommend you do so.

Here are some tips on how you can make your family meals worth the time and effort:

1. Don’t rush them.

Treasure each moment that your family spends together at the table. There is no point in making all the effort to sit down with your family, only to have it fly by. Allow ample time to enjoy the food and each other’s company. Avoid the temptation of rushing your child through the meal, as long as they finish their food within a reasonable duration.

2. Resist distractions.

While mobile phones, television, video games, and the radio are a great source of entertainment, turn them off at mealtimes and do not allow them anywhere near the dining area. They are not members of your family. If possible delay answering your hand-phones for the duration of the meal. Instead, switch your attention to your child and other family members.

3. Keep conversations pleasant.

Aim at having happy and relaxing conversations during mealtimes. Ensure that you include everyone in all conversations. This is a great opportunity for your family to share their experiences and understand each other a little more.

Avoid bringing up unpleasant subjects or meting out punishments during mealtimes, as you do not want your family to associate negative feelings with eating together.

4. Share the responsibility.

Mealtimes do not have to start and stop at the dinner table. In fact, include aspects like food preparation and table setting as part of your mealtime routine and involve your child in the process. Let him contribute menu ideas, bring him grocery shopping, and have him set the table. Your child will feel proud and excited to eat meals that he has helped prepare.

Braving the traffic congestion to get home at peak hours for a family dinner may seem like a hassle. Passing up the chance to go for a drink with your colleagues in exchange for a quiet dinner at home may also irritate you. But keep in mind these small sacrifices that you make now are all well spent. You’ll find that in a few years time, you and your child will reap the rewards from your efforts.

■ Dr Goh Chee Leong is a psychologist. This article is courtesy of the Malaysian Paediatric Association’s Positive Parenting Programme. The information provided is for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star does not give any warranty on accuracy, completeness, functionality, usefulness or other assurances as to the content appearing in this column. The Star disclaims all responsibility for any losses, damage to property or personal injury suffered directly or indirectly from reliance on such information.

Disciplining your child can be hard... especially when you´re the only one doing it. Sometimes, my daughter can be a big big problem, other times no.... Sometimes I feel bad being the bad guy always disciplining her......

Seems just like yesterday when I remember talking to my ex husband bout disciplining our kids when we have kids of our own next time. I used to tell him..... the house everything, I´ll gladly handle... disciplining and upbringing, well that´s your job.... but then... in a blink of an eye, wham.... seems like I ended up doing everything on my own now, with the help of my dad. Sighs.... merely dreams of a foolish woman.... a dream to have a family... happiness.....

The court hearing for our divorce was today, earlier in the morning... what seemed to be an hour or so hearing took the whole day to accomplish! But, finally everything is over... in 3 months time, we are officially divorced by law too. In a huge way I have this sense of relief to have it all gone and done with. In another, the hurt and pain surfaces like hell.

Aye, my daughter and I.... in a huge way we miss him... but then in this 1 1/2 years time of not seeing him, we grew accustom to not having him in our lives..... then now, to abide to the visitation rights of my ex husband, I really am not keen on it as I dont want to put my daughter thru the emotional trauma once again.... but then... on his side, they say everything is ok.... children grow to live with it. How I wonder what do they actually know about children...... ? Doesn´t mean that children go through emotional stress and traumas, they tell us all the time... but who am I to say? If he wants to trigger every damn thing in our daughter again, what and who am I to go against it?

Sometimes, the only regret I ever feel is this feeling of ever even telling him I was pregnant 3 years ago. If I had just left him and born my daughter on my own, none of this shit will ever happen.... but oh well... love creates strange wonders at times..... I can only just live with the hurt together with my daughter once all over again.

Have fun reading this article on How to discipline your child... and remember, while disciplining him / her, make sure... love from the whole family exists... that´s the most crucial part, in my personal opinion....

How to discipline your child

22 February 2010

While all parents believe that discipline is important, they are divided over the use of the cane.

By BRIGITTE ROZARIO

Discipline is a scary word for children as well as parents. For children it is often interpreted as punishment of some sort. For parents, it means setting the rules and making sure they are adhered to.

Nobody likes discipline yet all parents agree it is something that needs to be done so that the children do not turn out to be spoilt brats. However, parents are divided over the methods for disciplining.

Family life educator Charis Patrick says that discipline is not just about punishment.

“A lot of people think that discipline equals punishment. It carries that negative connotation. We have to know that punishment is just a subset of discipline. Discipline is simply defined as guiding a child to go in the way that he or she should go. Part of it involves punishing the child when they do wrong. It also involves affirming them, rewarding and encouraging them if they do something right. Discipline has a lot of positive connotations that we tend to miss out on.

Patrick: 'Being a role model is the most powerful way to teach your children.'

“Being a role model is the most powerful way to teach your children because truly it is about 'monkey see, monkey do', especially when they're very young and impressionable.”

She advocates three principles when it comes to disciplining the children:

* Be consistent.

The rules in your family and home need to be the same every day even though you are tempted to be lax sometimes, especially when you're tired.

If the rule is “no TV until all the homework is done” then that rule needs to stand every school day until it becomes a habit for the children. If you compromise on that rule just one time, it will be all that much harder to enforce it after that.

* Be persistent.

When you say something, follow it through and don't leave it for the child to decide.

In the case of the TV rule, this means as soon as they're done with their homework you tell them they can now go and watch TV. Don't wait for them to ask you.

* Be firm.

A lot of parents become emotional instead of being firm; they forget that they need to uphold the principle. There's no point in yelling and screaming because the child will not get the information we are conveying. They just look at your angry face and feel very rejected or angry. It's always better to be firm rather than fierce.

Positive parenting

Patrick says positive parenting is best.

“I think eventually you have to use less of the cane and do more explaining which is more time consuming. The good thing about the cane is that it's very fast, but it may not be sustainable. You spank them and they may stop behaving badly for a while but they might do it again,” she says.

According to Patrick, ideally parents should calm down first before meting out punishment. If they're very angry then they must calm down before talking to the child.

“Cool down first, exit the scene if you need to, don't face your child then. Some days the children can really drive us up the wall.

“If you really cannot handle it then, try taking a shower to cool down. Amazingly when you come back and re-address the issue you'll be in a better place to handle it,” she adds.

The cane or a time-out?

Parents are divided over the use of the cane. The cane, if you use it, should be reserved for very serious mistakes and outright rebellion and it should be the very last resort when everything else has failed to work.

Patrick says that if the cane is used then use it only once and the rest of the time it is only in the house to instil fear in the child so that they do not behave that badly again.

While a time-out works for some small children, it doesn't work for all.

Patrick says this method hasn't worked on her children so she has hardly used it.

Giving in to tantrums

She warns parents against giving children accidental rewards for misbehaving.

“Sometimes, as parents, while we think we are parenting, we are actually causing our children to misbehave more.

“For example, if they throw a tantrum in a public place and we can't appease them. We don't know how to handle it so we tell them that if they stop we will buy them something. So the child will think, 'Okay when I throw a tantrum my mummy will buy me something'.

“It happens subtly but very often,” she says.

Patrick advises parents to ignore the tantrums. Children use tantrums to get what they want and the bigger the audience, the longer the tantrum lasts.

“If you ignore them then they will know that no matter how big a tantrum they throw it's of no use because there's no reaction from you,” she says.

Removing privileges

Toddlers are too young to understand if you remove privileges but it should work on preschoolers and those older. Removing privileges works best on teenagers.

“For preschoolers, you could tell them they can't watch their favourite TV show instead of saying no TV. You have to be very precise and you have to make sure you follow through.

“Removing privileges will work better for older children. When you withdraw the privileges you have to give it a very specific time limit and you have to follow through. I can be very honest with you, when Friday, Saturday and Sunday comes it will be very difficult to say No to your child. But one week means one week, so you have to persist.”

Common problems

If there are different sets of rules at home and at the babysitter then it will be very confusing for the child. The first thing to do is to communicate with the babysitter and see if you can align the rules. Ideally, the babysitter will be able to follow through with your rules. If she keeps going against what you are teaching your child and it really has adverse effects, then it's time to consider getting a new babysitter.

If you have to leave the child with a helper and your parent, then have a conference with everyone to make an announcement that you have to work and when you're not around, in order for things to go well for the child, that both parents have decided that “kakak” (the helper) will have the responsibility of taking care of the child.

All parties need to know that if there are any complaints then you will hear out all sides so that no one side is favoured. If the child “bullies” kakak, then the child knows that there will be punishment involved.

What if you live with your in-laws and they say “No” to discipline? In such a situation, Patrick advises parents to discipline the child in private.

If the husband and wife have different standards, that's even more difficult but quite common, too. In that case, Patrick advises having a specialisation of labour. Both the parents would need to sit down and discuss it. Perhaps the mother would then have the final say on discipline issues at home and the father would have the final say on discipline when you go out.

It is important that both parents show the children a united front when disciplining. This way, the children will know they cannot break this unity and the authority figure is unshakeable.

Profanity

The use of profanity by children is increasingly a problem these days.

Instead of teaching children that they shouldn't use such words, it is better to teach them that they can choose to use better words, says Patrick.

“I would say to my child: 'I know that when you're very, very angry there are certain words that seem to almost make you feel good. I want to tell you that those words will only make you feel good for a little while. But what it goes forth to do can be very, very hurtful. I know it's so very difficult to control but the next time you are very, very angry you think about this and you can choose to scold people or to keep quiet or walk away.'

“Give them options so that from very young they know they can choose how to respond. When they know they can choose, they don't feel limited. In future, when they feel themselves getting upset, they don't just have one channel to let out their emotions; maybe they will have four channels because they have four options,” she says.

Teenagers

It is not too late to start disciplining a child once they reach adolescent years. However, Patrick advocates building the relationship first.

“Let's say you never built that relationship foundation during the growing years and now they are 10 years old and you have a rebellious child. Forget about discipline for a while. Instead, focus on building that relationship. My experience is that if you've never really disciplined them and then at 10 you want to start, whatever you do is very limited. You need to build the bridge until you earn their respect, then only can you think of discipline,” she says.

Patrick explains that with teenagers it is often hard to discern if they're trying to be an individual or rebellious.

“When they are teenagers don't just look at the outward change because even if they love you, they will never tell you. If they have to tell you thank you for everything then they won't feel like an adult. Being teenagers they want to feel like an individual and if they feel like they have to appreciate you then they are being less of an individual.

“If the child feels secure and proper space is given then the child feels like an individual. It's only when the child feels perpetually put down that he feels all the more he has to rise up to prove to you that he is an individual and an adult and that he needs his freedom,” she says.

Children need discipline

There's no way to avoid disciplining your children.

Patrick says, “I must discipline my child. That is my responsibility. You only push your child away when you keep punishing them but in the whole concept of discipline, there is not just punishment. There is also affirming them, standing by them when they fail, still believing in them, cheerleading them on, giving rewards, being with them and building that relationship.

“Research has proven that the moment you stop disciplining your child in the holistic sense, the child becomes highly insecure. A child needs boundaries to push and when you don't draw those boundaries for them they feel highly insecure.”

The other day I found an article writing about 3 year olds.... Today, to continue with the age climbing.... I Found another article... but this time for 4 year olds. Telling us about the big adventures 4 year old thinks they are in :)

Though somehow, I have to say... most of the things that they stated there... well... my beloved 3 year old daughter is already been doing it for more than 1/2 a year now... rofl..... but nevertheless, I hope parents out there..... enjoy reading this wonderful article

Life is a big adventure for 4-year-olds

17 February 2010

CHILDWISE
By RUTH LIEW

TURNING four is a happy time for many children. Four-year-olds like telling silly jokes. They are imaginative and can make up many stories with unbelievable plots and incredible feats.

Four-year-olds are well-known for using “colourful” language. They do not use profanity like some adults would, to hurt. They like to laugh out loud when they say words like “stupid” or “bum bum”. They are just curious to observe the reactions of people when they say certain taboo words.

Four-year-olds like to try new things and show off what they can do. They can sometimes be “daredevils” when it comes to trying out dangerous tricks or jumping down from a height.

They need close supervision during playtime. Parents and caregivers must constantly remind them to be mindful of safety when they are playing.

Children this age are keen to participate in daily routines. Let them join in the food preparation and cleaning-up at home. Show them how to wring a cloth or grate a carrot for salads and popiahs.

Four-year-olds take great pride in their small achievements. They want to be useful and helpful. Praise them for their efforts. When they feel encouraged, they will be motivated to do what is right. At this stage of development, they are working on being able to show initiative rather than wait to be told what to do.

This is also a good time to introduce multi-cultural activities and gender awareness to your child. Many four-year-olds are interested in knowing the difference between boys and girls.

They also want to know why other people do things differently from them.

Choose books with themes that are free of gender and disability biases. Talk to your child about how other children in the world live, learn and play. Take your child to cultural plays and performances.

Make it a point to get picture books that depict children with disabilities. Your child will enjoy hearing the interesting jobs that men and women do. Children this age love to ask, “Why?” “How?” and “What?”

Nature walks and making observations of nature are probably among the activities that four-year-olds enjoy immensely.

Children don’t really need large garden plots to grow vegetables and flowering plants. You can get a small garden box for your child to work on. He will love watering the plants and measuring their growth.

Adults who join children in pretend play often find themselves in a fix when four-year-olds show little regard for objective truth. I remember observing a four-year-old playing masak-masak (pretend cooking). She put all the plastic babies into the pan and laughingly said: “Look! I’m frying ‘babies’.”

In pretend play, children usually work out their strong emotions. Adults should just allow them to carry on rather than discipline them by saying: “Oh! You shouldn’t say such words.” Use positive words when talking to your child. You can steer them towards appropriate behaviour by suggesting: “Let’s try doing this and see what happens.” Or, “Tell me what I can do to help you in your work.”

Four-year-olds can relate to your messages easily. If you want them to act positively, try setting an example for them to follow.

Encourage your child to do more physical exercises. Your energetic child will enjoy playing beanbag games that require balancing, tossing, jumping over, running to and fro, skipping and catching.

Set up a simple obstacle course with chairs, pillows and coffee tables. Your child can crawl under, jump over and slide across.

I once used a bedsheet to make a tent for my children to crawl into. This is great fun for children in their early years. We used to snuggle together with torchlight and do shadow play.

Be sensitive to your four-year-olds’ feelings during play. Children this age get frustrated easily and often harbour fears of the unknown. Sometimes they may not want to do the activities that you have spent much effort and time on. Do not force them to comply as this may trigger off a major temper tantrum.

Children learn through repetition. If your child enjoys certain activities, let him do it again. He may need several repeats before he finally does it well and feels satisfied with his efforts.

All stand up and say no to cigarettes please... especially if you really love your baby.. ^^

Mummy smokers outside.... do take care! Have fun reading!

No smoke near the baby, please

17 February 2010

THE DOCTOR SAYS
By Dr MILTON LUM

NOT many smokers know what they are consuming when they light up a cigarette. The tobacco in cigarettes is usually blended from two types of tobacco leaves, which have about 2.5% to 4% nicotine. The cigarette is designed to deliver a steady dose of nicotine to the smoker.

In addition to the tobacco leaf, the cigarette contains fillers made from other parts of the tobacco plant and they are mixed with various flavours and additives. The additives increase the acceptability of the cigarette to the smoker as well as increase the addictiveness of cigarettes. The additives include sugars, which make it easier to inhale the smoke, and flavourings like mint. Some of these are harmless by themselves but when taken in combination with other substances, they may be harmful.

It is usual for the cigarettes, sold today, to have a filter at the mouth end. The filters, which are produced from cellulose, trap some of the smoke and tar from the inhaled smoke. Claims have been made that filtered brands contain less tar than others. There are also claims that they are safer because of the filters but these claims are poorly substantiated. But the fact remains that there is no such thing as a safe cigarette.

Tobacco smoke

The effects of cigarette smoking depend on the quantity smoked, type of cigarette and how the tobacco is prepared. There are two types of smoke from a cigarette: the mainstream smoke from the mouth end or filter, and the sidestream smoke from the burning tip of the cigarette. When a smoker inhales, the cigarette has been found to burn at 700°C at the tip and 60°C at the core. The tobacco is broken down to produce numerous chemicals, which are released into the atmosphere as invisible gases and particles, with the smoke making up 5% to 8% of a cigarette’s output. The gases include carbon monoxide, formaldehyde, hydrogen cyanide and dimethylnitrosamine. The particles include nicotine, benzene, benzopyrene and tar.

Most smokers are unaware of the uses of some of the gases and particles found in tobacco smoke. Formaldehyde is used to embalm the dead; acetone to remove nail varnish; benzene as a petrol additive; and cyanide in gas chambers during WWII.

Carbon monoxide, a toxic gas found in motor vehicle exhaust fumes, is present in all cigarette smoke. This poisonous gas attaches itself to the haemoglobin in the blood more readily than oxygen, thereby reducing the ability of the blood to carry oxygen. Britain’s Royal College of Physicians has reported a 15% reduction in the oxygen carrying capability of heavy smokers.

Nicotine is contained in the moisture of the tobacco leaf. When the cigarette is lit, the nicotine evaporates and attaches itself to the droplets in the tobacco smoke inhaled by the smoker.

It is absorbed very rapidly by the body and reaches the brain within 10 to 15 seconds. Nicotine stimulates the central nervous system and increases the heart rate and blood pressure, resulting in an increased need for more oxygen. Nicotine is a very powerful drug. When 60mg of pure nicotine is placed on an individual’s tongue, it kills within minutes. Nicotine causes addiction in the similar manner as heroin and cocaine. Nicotine deprivation leads to a strong craving, which is accompanied by anxiety, irritability, hunger, restlessness and decreased concentration.

All cigarettes produce tar in varying amounts. It is always taken into the body when a smoker inhales the smoke in a lit cigarette. The tar, which is composed of many chemicals, contains known cancer-causing agents (carcinogens). They include compounds like formaldehyde, arsenic, cyanide, benzopyrene, benzene, toluene and acrolein. When the tar condenses, it forms the sticky brown substance that stains the smokers’ teeth and fingers yellow brown.

Some of the contents of tobacco smoke are irritants and more than 50 of the compounds are carcinogens or toxins. A study, which was reported in the respected journal, Science, has established a link between smoking and lung cancer at the cellular level. Other substances are known or suspected mutagens that can cause permanent and harmful changes in the genetic materials in the cells.

Low-tar cigarettes

When it became known about half a century ago that the tar in the tobacco smoke was associated with an increased risk of lung cancer, a programme was established to gradually reduce the tar content of cigarettes. Studies from the United States report that the widespread usage of low-tar cigarettes has not prevented an increase in lung cancer among older male Americans. The presumed advantage of low tar cigarettes has been largely offset by an increase in the number of cigarettes smoked and/or deeper inhalation, because of the smokers’ need to compensate for the lower nicotine content in low tar cigarettes.

Pregnancy

The single most preventable cause of illness and death in mothers and infants is smoking. Female and male smokers have decreased fertility. The sperm quality of smokers is impaired with decreases in the count, motility and form. There may be erectile difficulties. It is believed that smoking affects sex hormone production in the female and egg transport in the fallopian tubes to the uterus.

A foetus gets all its nutrients and oxygen from the pregnant woman via the placenta and umbilical cord. A pregnant woman exposed to tobacco smoke will transmit the toxins in it to the foetus. The carbon monoxide content of foetal blood is increased leading to it containing less oxygen than normal, which means that the foetal heart has to beat harder on every occasion the pregnant woman inhales tobacco smoke. The toxins of tobacco smoke also affects placental function and hence, foetal nutrition.

Women who smoke during pregnancy are at increased risk of miscarriage and stillbirth. They have double the risk of premature rupture of the membranes, placental abruption and placenta praevia, all of which can lead to prematurity and even stillbirth.

The babies of mothers exposed to tobacco smoke are at increased risk of prematurity and low birth weight, that is, below 2.5kg. Their babies’ organs are smaller than that of non-smokers’ babies. These babies’ lung function is poorer and they are more likely to get middle ear infections and asthmatic bronchitis in early childhood. Their likelihood of cot death (sudden infant death syndrome) is increased by 1.5 to 3 times. They are sick more often than babies of non-smokers. In addition, the babies are more likely to become smokers when they grow up.

Cessation

It is never too late to cease smoking. The damage from smoking can be reversed when there is cessation of smoking. There is evidence that women who cease smoking in mid-pregnancy gave birth to babies with the same average birth weight as non-smokers. Many women smokers ceased smoking during their pregnancies and never smoked again.

The greatest gift that a pregnant smoker can give to her unborn child is to cease smoking. It is important to remember that the foetus is totally dependent on the mother to prevent toxins from poisoning him or her.

Dr Milton Lum is a member of the board of Medical Defence Malaysia. This article is not intended to replace, dictate or define evaluation by a qualified doctor. The views expressed do not represent that of any organisation the writer is associated with.

Chinese New Year

The 3rd day of Chinese New Year....... The weather is freakingly pathetically hot... I can barely handle the heat, not even my beloved daughter....

We have been travelling alot during these past few days and eating non stop since the Eve of Chinese New Year. Its amazing how much we have eaten the past few days... *groans* my poor poor hard earned diet and slim body..... stuffed like a stuffed pig.. omigosh.... Somehow I can´t wait till Chinese New Year is officially over and we can go back to our normal lives and stop eating XD

It´s quite a quiet chinese new year this year for the both of us, only venturing back to my father´s hometown and visiting his relatives in Perak and Klang. Haven´t even started on Mum´s side at all. We didn´t go back to my ex husband´s place. Felt not right... especially when the thing hasn´t finalized, nor that the fact my daughter havent seen her father in a year already. Don´t really want to trigger her emotional part once again. It´s painful to see her go thru that once again.

Anyways... this is a good year. I didn´t give any ang paos, or also known as Red Packets, this year. Well.. first of, I´m divorced. Yea, so I have a kid.. but that doesnt mean that having a kid means you need to give... besides, not like the man continues giving after he divorces anyways... so... go figure..... I don´t wanna waste any excessive money on Chinese New Year, especially not when I am no more married... so people out there that wanna ´poke my ass´ over this matter... go do it..... If you really read up your history or whatever you wanna call it, the Ang Paos are given sincerely and not forcefully ^^ So I sincerely will not give... even if I do plan to give... I only give to my peers´ children... So if you are in the same batch as me and not married... sorry babes.. ^^

I cannot imagine, this is the 4th year and my final year of my marriage and it ends at the beginning of the year. With it closes the chapter of my life that I never knew would ever close. With it seals the fate of a 10 year long relationship and love. Moving on, there are many winding roads ahead, some are painful to walk and some uncertain while some roads are already there but many obstacles.

Irregardless of it, I still need to walk down this road, be strong... for the sake of myself and my beautiful growing daughter...

Happy CHinese New Year folks

When Your 3 year Old Starts Exploring The World

Wow... time really flies...... it´s already 3 years.... wow... my daughter is turning 3 this coming March 22nd.... making me another year older, left with about a couple or more years before reaching the big 30.... rofl.....

Its now Chinese New Year eve today.. as I sit at the laptop, still not sleeping... doing my daily stuff, and realized that Parenting week this week wasnt done yet. Seemed to completely forgotten bout parenting week this week.. dont know why.... Maybe cos of the busy schedule of work, plus the lack of time at home, plus the upcoming finalization of my divorce and the heart that is yearning for someone who isn´t around.......

Whatever it is, who cares...... This article... talks about our growing baby.... into 3 years old.. the exploring toddler..... I hope this article proves useful to you....

When your 3yr old starts exploring the world

10 February 2010

CHILDWISE
By RUTH LIEW

IN the third year, most children start to insist that they do things for themselves. Their limbs are stronger and they are able to control their movements better. They like meeting new people and doing new things. They may have a wider vocabulary and speak better.

They no longer seek attention from familiar adults. They are confident that the adults will be there when they need them. Children this age like to explore on their own without waiting for adults to guide them.

At this stage of their development, they need to take part in more activities that are related to their increasing need for independence. Parents and caregivers must plan activities that children can do themselves without adult assistance.

Outdoor activities such as digging with a spade and watering the plants are fun and easy to do. Simple construction play with wooden or plastic blocks can occupy a three-year-old’s attention.

Developing skills: Drawing and colouring appeal to three-year-olds as they like to work with their hands.

They have a short attention span but they can take part in simple discussions, planning, sharing, taking turns and playing by the rules. They will wait for their turn and take their share of the toys during play.

They can now play with small groups of children. In a group of three or four children, three-year-olds can take turns to go under the bridge as they sing to the tune of, London Bridge Is Falling Down.

Puzzle play is a favourite among three-year-olds. Many start off with simple five- to six-piece puzzles, working towards more complex ones. It is interesting to note that children this age like to fit the pieces together though they may not complete the whole picture.

Some may give up working on the puzzle before completing it. When this happpens, you can help your child to complete it before keeping it in the box. Or you can tell your child that he can complete the puzzle on another occasion when he feels like working on it.

Parents and caregivers must learn how to encourage three-year-olds so that they can respond positively. Children at this age like to be noticed for what they can do. When they cannot manage a certain task, they get frustrated easily. Encourage them by saying, “I know you can do it.”

When children are upset over what they cannot do, show them that you understand their feelings. Let them know gently that if they should need help, you will be ready to assist them.

This encourages them to be independent.

Mistakes are common with this age group. It is important that parents and caregivers know how to manage the situation and help children to know that they can learn from their mistakes.

Talk with them, rather than tell them what to do. You can show them how you handle things with care and attention. When you show them how to do something, be sure to make it appealing to the child.

Children this age imitate adults in what they do. They like doing things around the house like wiping, cleaning, mopping and vacuuming. Whenever there is a task to be done around the house, offer your young child a manageable activity. Being able to help will boost the child’s self-esteem.

Three-year-olds like working with their hands. Playing with dough or clay appeals to them. Usually they will make or draw things first before deciding what it is they are doing. This is part of their development. It is not until they enter the fourth year that they start to talk about what they are about to do before doing it.

As with all activities, adults must show children how to put things back where they belong or carry things from end to another. When your child wants to do something, she will know where to get it and put it back when she is done.

Children may still be a little unsteady with their hands but they now know how to be careful.

Whenever possible, set up a place where your three-year-old can play or do her work. There should be low shelves, and low tables and chairs for your child.

Making music with household objects such as ladles, biscuit tins, pots and pans can provide endless fun for children. They may make up their own songs to sing along to the music they create. To build their interest, parents and caregivers should participate in this merry-making.

Allow three-year-olds ample time to learn and discover, to help maximise their potential. Children often repeat what they like to do. If you observe that your child is always doing the same thing, don’t stop him. Let him graduate to the next activity on his own.

Parenting week... missed it once again.. sighs..... have been totally busy with balancing back my life and the upcoming court hearing for my divorce that I neglect alot of my personal life alone........ Even this blog, which I just opened recently, is still absolutely empty and such...... unbelieveable.... Guess I need to take some time off to get my stuff going once again

Anyways.. this week´s article is about getting your own child to sleep in his own bed... have you ever have this problem?

For my little angel and myself, well..... it´s been nearly 2 years now, 1 year and 8 months to be exact, that she has been occasionally sleeping curled in my arms and sleeping on her own bed. Well... at the moment, to me, I dont see a big problem of her occasionally curling up to me at nights as well.... my room at my parents´place isn´t all that big to be having luxury anyways... but I am glad that she is independent in a way and not in a way... :D

For those parents out there... trying to still get their child to sleep in their own bed.... read on below´s article...

Cheers!

Getting your child to sleep in his own bed

3 February 2010

CHILDWISE
By RUTH LIEW

I am a young mother with a two-year-old toddler son. My child has been sleeping with us in the same bed since he was a baby. I am thinking of moving him to his own bed.

My friends are telling me that sharing my bed with our son is a bad idea. They say he will never be able to sleep alone without his parents. My husband and I have no qualms about sleeping with our son. We find it comfortable and relaxing being together at night. – Concerned Mother

Parents of toddlers often complain of sleepless nights interrupted by their children because they refuse to sleep alone. Instead of letting their child share their bed, some parents let their maid or a relative who is caring for their child, sleep with him.

Working parents today prefer to start their children sleeping alone in their own beds from an early age. Some even go to the extent of having their children sleep in separate rooms.

Although it is common for most Asian families to share their beds with their children, many are beginning to move their children out of their bedrooms.

However, proponents of children sleeping with their parents regard this as a positive experience for the young ones. Adults, who as young children were allowed to sleep in their parents’ beds, remember how wonderful it felt.

The family bed helps the children and their parents feel closer together after a full day of separation. The nocturnal experience also reassures the child and promotes a sense of security, which fosters independence.

Many families who co-sleep can testify to the close relationships they have with their children. It appears that children and parents can build this emotional fortress within them as they snooze away in the same bed.

The idea of co-sleeping is not exactly a bed of roses for all, however. Some parents feel uneasy with their children in the same bed. They don’t get much sleep, with their children tossing and turning around them. They fear their children will never learn to sleep on their own, and that they will always need to seek out their parents to be with them before they can sleep.

Some parents have confessed to allowing their children to sleep in the same room with them until they were teenagers. In retrospect, these parents regretted not moving them out earlier.

My eldest daughter decided that she would have her own bed when she turned two years of age. But her younger sister enjoyed sleeping in our bed so much that she made the transition to sleeping independently at a later time.

Today both girls sleep independently in their own rooms. We would have long chats in my room but they always go back to their own beds for their nightly rest.

A major problem of sharing your bed with the children is the lack of parental privacy. Yet a mother of five children, who co-sleeps with them, has happily declared that there has never been any lack of intimate time with her husband. It is a chore for some parents to make time for their own privacy but others find it quite exciting.

So, should parents of toddlers share their bed? The decision is personal. Some parents feel strongly that co-sleeping with their children is beneficial for all but others are not inclined to sharing their bed with their children. Either way, both sets of parents can still be good parents.

Be comfortable with your decisions and confident that they will work for you. Also, observe your child and know his needs.

If you let your child sleep with you in the same bed but you are unhappy about it, you will constantly find ways to get him out. This will make your toddler anxious because you appear to be pushing him away. He may even regard your actions as rejection.

Do let your toddler share your bed when he needs the comfort. Once he feels secure enough, he will be able to sleep on his own. Some children are confident enough to face the next day’s challenges without having to sleep with their parents.

If you have decided not to share your bed with your child, then start this practice early. When your child wakes up in the middle of the night, go to him and help him to calm down. Stay for awhile and then leave him when he is soothed.

Lets talk about post natal depression...... have you ever encountered it after giving birth to your child? Did you manage to overcome it with difficulties or with ease? This article gives us a brief insight on what is Post natal depression all about

Let's talk about post-natal depression

31 January 2010

AGE WELL
By Dr RAMINDER KAUR

HAVING a baby is an important event in a woman’s life. For what can seem like forever, her body has been undergoing major changes and she may have experienced considerable discomfort or even ill-health while pregnant. When the baby is born, the woman becomes responsible for the well-being of a small, vulnerable person, who has very immediate needs for care and attention.

We tend to assume that motherhood is joyful and rewarding, and that it will be easy enough to adjust to the arrival of a new baby. However, no matter how wanted the baby is, he or she will bring changes to the mother’s life, changes which can be disturbing or distressing.

Many women find they go through a low patch shortly after they give birth, feeling tired and weepy. But these “baby blues” generally only last a few days before women feel more themselves again.

Women are affected to varying degrees by postnatal depression. With a great deal of effort, some may struggle on with their lives, although everything may seem flat and dull. – AFP

For others, having a baby has a more serious and longer lasting effect. These women become depressed, confused, or very anxious, and can’t just “snap out of it”. This reaction is known as postnatal depression, and can be very painful and upsetting for the woman herself, her partner, and her children.

This information is written for mothers who are going through this experience, and for their families and friends. It aims to provide some basic information about postnatal depression, what it feels like. and the possible causes.

What is postnatal depression?

We tend to have high expectations of motherhood. So if you find yourself in turmoil and begin to doubt if you can manage, or even want to manage, it can be very distressing.

Many mothers find they become tearful and despondent, anxious, or tense and angry, and don’t know what to do about it. If you feel like this, there may be no clear reason for it, which can make things worse since you may then feel guilty and inadequate. Even though the baby was planned, and your pregnancy and birth went well, it is as if a great black cloud has arisen out of nowhere and settled over you. You probably never thought that having a baby would make you feel like this.

Postnatal depression is more common than you realise – between 10 and 20% of women are affected. It can occur straight after the baby is born, or months later. It can start very suddenly or slowly take hold. Women of all ages and backgrounds are affected: both first-time mothers and those with other children.

It is possible to feel alright with your first child, but become depressed with the next. The chances of developing postnatal depression (PND) are higher, however, if a woman has had PND before.

Each woman is affected in her own particular way. These are some of the feelings and experiences women often report:

·Depressed and tearful. Everything can seem a struggle. You feel bad about yourself and about everything around you.

·Anxious and worried about your own health, the baby’s, or the rest of the family’s. You may feel genuinely frightened of being alone at home, or of going out.

·Irritable and frustrated. You may snap at your children and get angry with your partner or friends.

·Exhausted, both physically and emotionally

You may also notice changes in the way your body functions and the way you behave:

·Concentrating on even the simplest task can be difficult.

·Your usual sleep patterns may be disrupted. You may feel you want to sleep all the time, or it may be hard to fall asleep or sleep long enough.

·Your appetite can be affected.

·Your body may seem to slow down. Making decisions of any sort, even about what to wear, can seem impossible.

·Or you may feel full of nervous energy and keep constantly busy, but not really achieve much.

·You may lose interest in sex.

Women are affected to varying degrees by postnatal depression. With a great deal of effort, some may struggle on with their lives, although everything may seem flat and dull. Others will be overwhelmed by powerful, frightening feelings they can’t control. In despair, you may even believe that life has nothing to offer and the only way out is to kill yourself.

It can become a vicious circle that traps you. You become more tired through lack of sleep and this makes you more irritable. You then feel guilty about how you’re treating your family, and more and more useless. It seems to go on and on.

But postnatal depression does not last. You will not always feel like this. It can be an enormous relief to realise that although there is a problem, something can be done about it.

It is important, also, to find that you are not the only one to have these experiences. Other women have been through them too and recovered.

Understanding postnatal depression

Once a woman recognises she is experiencing postnatal depression, she’s likely to look for reasons. There are various possible causes, and a number of things may work together to trigger it off. The cause can differ from one woman to another, and sometimes there may be no clear reason. At particular points in your life, you may just be more vulnerable. Or difficult events in your past may make you more likely to experience postnatal depression.

Here are some of the suggested explanations:

·The birth itself may have been distressing or seriously disappointing. This can leave you with a sense of violation or loss, which may bring on postnatal depression.

·Your baby may be very demanding, or perhaps he or she was born prematurely or has a health problem or disability. All these can put unbearable stress on you as the mother.

·You may be under a lot of pressure generally. Perhaps there are money or housing problems. Maybe you get little support from your partner, or don’t have one. Possibly you’re isolated and lonely with no one to provide support or help.

·Our own experiences of being mothered can influence how we cope as mothers. Painful memories of events in our childhood, the loss of loved ones, or separation from them, physical or sexual abuse, may return when we face motherhood ourselves.

·Society has a very mixed view of motherhood. On the one hand, mothers are regarded in a rosy light as selfless sources of love and caring. On the other hand, society makes little attempt to meet the needs of mothers and young children. Taking a baby out anywhere can be an enormous effort.

·Being a mother is regarded as instinctive, as something women all know how to do. Yet, very often, women have had little or no experience of caring for small children before their own baby comes along, and no chance to prepare themselves or learn the skills needed

·We can easily end up feeling isolated and ignored. If we’ve given up work, we may well feel resentful at being cut off from the adult world and at losing our income.

·Some doctors support the view that changes in hormone levels after giving birth lead to postnatal depression, although not all doctors agree on this.

Very rarely, a woman may develop a serious condition called post-puerperal psychosis. This can lead her to behave in highly excitable and uncontrollable ways. She may have strange or bizarre beliefs or may hear voices, and will need medical help and support.

How can I deal with postnatal depression?

Postnatal depression is exhausting and frightening. But there are steps you can take to break free. More will be said below about getting help from other people, but there are things you can do to help yourself recover. What helps may be different for each of us, but here are some of the things other women found useful.

Begin to take care of yourself. Have a treat, or indulge yourself by doing something you really enjoy. Meet a friend for lunch, have a leisurely soak in a bubble bath, buy yourself a bunch of flowers.

Get a break from the baby and the other children. This can be hard to arrange, but worth it, even for a short time.

As far as possible, get enough rest. When the baby’s asleep, ignore the housework and put your feet up for a while. If getting to sleep is difficult, try to develop a bed-time routine to unwind – have a bath or read for a while.

Exercise can help you relax. It need not be anything strenuous. Going for a walk gets you out and gives you a break from the baby’s demands.

Try to eat regular meals. Lack of food or too much junk food may only make you feel worse. If you have no appetite, try to view food as medicine. Gradually, your appetite will return.

Find ways of expressing your feelings. If you don’t feel able to talk to your partner or a close friend, use other outlets, write down what you feel. Let yourself cry. Close the bathroom door and scream if you want to. If you feel anxious or tense all the time, you may want to find out about relaxation techniques from your doctor. Your local library may be able to supply some books on this.

Don’t keep pushing yourself to live up to other people’s expectations. Be good to yourself. Pay attention to the good feelings and the good times, rare as they may seem just now.

They will become more frequent.

Recovery won’t be easy and it won’t necessarily happen quickly.

Getting help from others

Sometimes it is useful to talk things over with someone outside your immediate circle of family and friends. It can be a big step to seek out such help, but you shouldn’t feel ashamed of needing it.

Getting help early, as soon as you recognise you have a problem, can save you and those close to you a lot of anguish. There are various sources of help available, each offering different kinds of support.

Counselling and therapy. These are sometimes called “talking treatments” because they give people a chance to talk through their difficulties.

Such therapy, of which there are many types, tends to be longer-term and concentrates more on explaining and coming to terms with past events.

Counseling tends to be more practical and focuses on present day feelings and difficulties.

In either, it is important to find a counselor or therapist you can relate to and trust.

Counselors and therapists use a range of different approaches and you may need to discuss what is best for you.

Psychotherapy tries to help you understand your current feelings in the context of past events and experiences. Cognitive therapy sets out to help someone feel better about herself.

You may not necessarily feel you have to find out what caused you to develop postnatal depression, but want to use counseling or therapy to help you overcome the pain of depression.

Your family doctor may have access to the services of a counselor for his/her patients and may be able to help, or put you in touch with someone who could. While your baby is small, you are likely to have regular contact with your doctor. Try and explain to him/her how you are feeling.

You may feel it is important that you see a counselor or therapist on your own. If you have a partner, you may want him to be involved, to some extent at least, so you can both move forward together. It is important, though, that you work out what you want.

Self-help. Many women have found that talking with others who’ve been through similar experiences is very helpful. It can be a great relief to find you’re not alone.

Members of a self-help group can provide each other with the support and encouragement needed to get through the bad times, and practical advice on how best to cope.

Self-help groups provide an opportunity to be honest about your feelings, in a setting where others understand but don’t blame you.

Some groups offer both mutual support and counseling, with input from an experienced counsellor.

Medical treatment. Many women may be nervous about going to their family doctor to discuss their feelings of depression because they feel frightened or ashamed. But a sympathetic doctor can be a great source of support and reassurance. Your doctor may choose to treat you himself, or may refer you to a psychiatrist for specialist help.

A course of anti-depressants may be prescribed for you. These are not addictive. They do not in themselves cure depression, but can lift your mood sufficiently to enable you to cope more effectively and to take advantage of other help, such as counseling. These drugs work for a lot of people, but not all. They can have unpleasant side effects, such as drowsiness, or giving you a dry mouth, or constipation.

Most anti-depressants take two to four weeks to have any effect, so it is important not to give up too quickly if you don’t feel better straight away. Your doctor may suggest you keep taking them for a few more weeks after you do feel better, as this can prevent the depression from returning.

If you are breastfeeding, your doctor should be able to prescribe a drug which will not affect your baby. It is important that you get your doctor to explain the treatment offered. You’re entitled to information about the likely benefits and disadvantages of each drug prescribed for you.

You may also want to talk about alternatives to drug treatment, such as counseling or self-help. Your doctor may be able to put you in touch with other sources of help.

Friends and relatives. As a relative or friend, you can help by being patient and understanding. You can show your concern by listening sympathetically, and being prepared to spend time with the depressed mother. Try to prompt her to talk about how she’s feeling. Let her know you still care for her, and can help and accept her, even though you don’t understand why she feels like this.

It’s unlikely to do any good to tell her to pull herself together, or to say she’s got nothing to be depressed about. Praise and realistic encouragement are likely to be more effective.

On a practical level, you can help by giving her time to herself, away from the baby and the other children. She may well be finding it difficult to cope with everyday chores. Try not to get frustrated or angry. Do what you can to help out. As she recovers, let her regain control of things. If you take over completely, she will only feel even more useless and despondent.

Someone who is experiencing postnatal depression often sees everything in a negative light, and becomes preoccupied with her problems. You can help by challenging this negative way of thinking and pointing out situations or tasks which she has handled well.

You may also need to encourage her to seek help. Your support can prompt her to take that step. Perhaps you could accompany her to a self-help group or a counselor, even if you do not take part. Above all, try to be patient. It will take time for her to re-establish herself, and for you both to re-build your relationship.

It is not easy to see a woman you care about go through postnatal depression. To see someone appear to change so much and become almost unreachable can be deeply distressing. You may worry that in some way you have contributed to the depression.

You will often feel helpless and not know how to react. You may feel bewildered and resentful that this has happened to someone close to you. You may feel angry at the effect on you and on the rest of the family, particularly the baby.

It can be very wearing to live with, or be in close contact with someone with postnatal depression. No matter how hard you look, there may be no apparent reason for this to have happened. You may find yourself becoming depressed or agitated – it is now known that many new fathers as well as mothers experience depression.

Perhaps you have had to take on tasks and responsibilities because your partner or friend is not able to cope. This can be especially exhausting when a young baby is involved. And at the back of your mind is a nagging anxiety about what will happen to the children in the longer-term.

All this is a great deal to bear on your own. It is therefore important that you get advice and support too. If possible, get others to help you. Talk to your family doctor about your concerns.

Discuss your own feelings with family and friends. Try to find time to do things which you enjoy. Remember that you count too.

The future

The most important thing I’d want to tell other women is that you can leave postnatal depression behind you. It may take a while to get over postnatal depression, but it will happen. You will probably find you begin to have more and more good days, but try not to be too let down when a bad one comes along again.

Don’t expect too much of yourself too soon. Remember that all women go through spells of feeling low, sometimes with no obvious cause, and don’t be misled into thinking you’re not making progress.

I used to warn people off when I was having a bad day so that they’d give me space and let me be.

If you’re considering having another baby, the thought of experiencing postnatal depression again may make you very wary.

But it is possible to take steps to prevent it. This time, you and those around you have experience and foresight on your side, and can watch out for the warning signs.

If possible, plan in advance of the baby’s arrival how you can get help and support, and allow time for yourself. It’s a good idea to avoid putting yourself under undue stress, for example by moving house, although obviously it’s not always possible.

Perhaps most importantly, find someone you can confide in and trust – a friend or relative, a doctor, health visitor, counselor, or someone in your self-help group.

Some doctors will advise you to follow a course of hormone treatment or anti-depressant drugs while you are pregnant as a preventive measure, but not everyone agrees that the benefits to the mother outweigh the risks. Ask your doctor to explain these to you so you can make up your own mind. Remember, you have a right to this information.

Some women feel that the experience of postnatal depression. though painful. has helped them to understand themselves better. Others prefer to leave it behind them and work at making up lost ground, strengthening their relationships with their children and others close to them.

> This article is contributed by The Star Health & Ageing Panel, which comprises a group of panellists who are not just opinion leaders in their respective fields of medical expertise, but have wide experience in medical health education for the public. The members of the panel include: Datuk Prof Dr Tan Hui Meng, consultant urologist; Dr Yap Piang Kian, consultant endocrinologist; Datuk Dr Azhari Rosman, consultant cardiologist; A/Prof Dr Philip Poi, consultant geriatrician; Dr Hew Fen Lee, consultant endocrinologist; Prof Dr Low Wah Yun, psychologist; Datuk Dr Nor Ashikin Mokhtar, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist; Dr Lee Moon Keen, consultant neurologist; Dr Ting Hoon Chin, consultant dermatologist; Prof Khoo Ee Ming, primary care physician; Dr Ng Soo Chin, consultant haematologist. For more information, e-mail starhealth@thestar.com.my. The Star Health & Ageing Advisory Panel provides this information for educational and communication purposes only and it should not be construed as personal medical advice. Information published in this article is not intended to replace, supplant or augment a consultation with a health professional regarding the reader’s own medical care. The Star Health & Ageing Advisory Panel disclaims any and all liability for injury or other damages that could result from use of the information obtained from this article.

Don’t question non-Malays’ citizenship

This is very interesting.... my first post.. in my new blog... and I find such an interesting article to share with all of you........ Don´t know why... but reading this.... as a citizen of Malaysia all my life, I feel a bit tad... worried now... to their ´revoking´ our citizenship... -.-

However, read on.....

Published: Wednesday February 3, 2010 MYT 12:51:00 PM

Don’t question non-Malays’ citizenship: Dr M

By IZATUN SHARI

PETALING JAYA: The citizenship of non-Malays in the country should never be questioned, said former prime minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

He said there was a provision in the Federal Constitution stating that while Malays were the indigenous people, non-Malays had their right to citizenship.

“That should not be questioned. We cannot banish our citizens now. The Constitution provides that you cannot take away citizenships,” he told reporters after opening the Malaysian Liver Foundation building at Ara Damansara here on Wednesday.

Dr Mahathir was asked to comment on the allegedly racist remarks made by special officer to the Prime Minister, Datuk Nasir Safar, during a 1Malaysia seminar in Malacca.

Nasir allegedly made some remarks about Indian and Chinese Malaysians being “immigrants” when referring to these communities and their feedback on certain government education policies, and he also allegedly threatened to revoke their citizenship.

“This is a very bad statement to make. Even if it’s true, we don’t say things like that. These people have been here all these years. They are in fact the descendants of the people who came here. They have not just arrived,” Dr Mahathir said.

He said that Malaysian citizens would remain citizens until they declare otherwise when they take up the citizenship of another country.

“In some countries, you can banish your own citizens, throw them into an island or somewhere; but here, we cannot do that. Once they are citizens, they will always be citizens until they themselves declare that they are not,” he added.

A statement from the Prime Minister’s office on Tuesday said that Nasir would tender his resignation over the incident and that his remarks did not reflect the views of the Prime Minister in any way.

It also said that Nasir apologised for any offence caused.

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