A Thousand Years

Lyrics | Christina Perri lyrics - A Thousand Years lyrics

Heartbeats fast 

Colors and promises 

How to be brave 

How can I love when I'm afraid to fall 

But watching you stand alone 

All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow 

One step closer 

I have died everyday waiting for you 

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 

For a thousand years 

I love you for a thousand more 

Time stands still 

Beauty in all she is 

I will be brave 

I will not let anything take away 

What's standing in front of me 

Every breath 

Every hour has come to this 

One step closer 

[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/c/christina+perri/a+thousand+years_20986324.html ] 

I have died everyday waiting for you 

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 

For a thousand years 

I love you for a thousand more 

And all along I believed I would find you 

Time has brought your heart to me 

I have loved you for a thousand years 

I love you for a thousand more 

One step closer 

One step closer 

I have died everyday waiting for you 

Darling don't be afraid I have loved you 

For a thousand years 

I love you for a thousand more 

And all along I believed I would find you 

Time has brought your heart to me 

I have loved you for a thousand years 

I love you for a thousand more

The song sounds beautiful and the lyrics mean even more..... They indeed chose a very good song this time to accompany the movie... ^^

Scary weather

It's break time. Everyone left together for food and I'm staying behind. Looking outside the classroom window, I get to see many trees and "miniature" forests... But what scares the most is the dark clouds threatening the skies and the cold wind blowing through. Guess what hubby say bout the Autumn storms are true. They are finally approaching! *sighs*

It's finally coming to an end, the week. I've not had problems attending classes in a long time and now this feeling arises again makes me somewhat uncomfortable. The class has grown bigger, from the mere 8 - 10 people, after the autumn holidays suddenly the class boomed to a 20 people class with majority speaking Turkish again.

The amusing part is barely anyone speaks english except me, Sara and Samson. Samson is quite a loner, newly joined after our Autumn holidays. Shane has gone missing in action for months now since the Summer holidays. Sara, well she sits with the other Turkish and another lady from Macadonia.

German grammar sucks big time. If you ever curse bout English grammar, then pray for your good fortune that you're not encountering the German grammar like I am at the moment.

Seriously, sometimes I can't help but wonder... Why is it that so many people choose to migrate here. Don't get me wrong, life here is definitely better than in Malaysia. But if it weren't because I met and fell in love for someone from here, I won't voluntarily move here.

I envy people here at times. They are much more family oriented than back home. The men actually take the time to be part with their family on weekends. Unlike our workaholic men back home, men here dedicate their weekends to their family.

Oh well... Who am I to say or complain?

We still have our differences. But I'll make the best of things. Though one thing I really wish..... To be rid of this dependence"ness" and be independent once again.....

I wonder how long will this take....

Wishing the weather will be much more better than it is at the moment


**Posted from my iPhone®, sorry if there's any spelling / grammartical errors **

Location:Brunnenstraße,Berlin,Germany

The Book Of Love

Lyrics | Peter Gabriel - Book Of Love lyrics

男人不该让女人流泪

你说我让你看不清楚
你说你害怕在爱中迷途
舍不得你哭
如果是我让你觉得无助
让我告诉你
我对这一切有多在乎
如何证明我深情的吻
才能呵护你脆弱的灵魂
我愿用生命阻挡任何能伤害你的人
就算被冷落
就算犯错
我都不走
喔~相信我无悔无求
我愿为你放弃所有
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
喔~相信我别再闪躲
我愿陪你
直到最后
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
相信我
如何证明我深情的吻
才能呵护你脆弱的灵魂
我愿用生命阻挡任何能伤害你的人
就算被冷落
就算犯错
我都不走
喔~相信我无悔无求
我愿为你放弃所有
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
喔~相信我别再闪躲
我愿陪你
直到最后
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
相信我
喔~相信我无悔无求
我愿为你放弃所有
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
喔~相信我别再闪躲
我愿陪你
直到最后
男人不该让女人流泪
至少我尽力而为
相信我

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm... a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Lost Inspiration

It´s 2am here at the moment.


Am reading some poetry online while watching my favourite Anime Sailor Moon (The last of their series before I venture in to the movies - though I am trying to get the Japanese version and trying not to watch it in English xD)....... Reading some poems online makes me long to take up my pen and start composing my poems again....


Yea, I used to write poems, I even have a few that was published in the school magazines during my high school years..... "crappy" poems ;) But I had a lot of inspiration back then....


I wonder where did all my inspiration went to? :(

In Loving Memory

Today I heard the most upsetting news I have ever heard for a long time and made me breakdown and cry to want to go home.


A very good friend of mine who has been battling with Stage 4 cancer finally passed away peacefully and returned to the Lord.


I have known Elizabeth Mah back then since newly in College - 17 / 18 years old. She was one of the fellow Church goers in Pantai First Baptist Church. I newly joined a  group in Church known as the College and Career Fellowship (CCFers) group. This is a bible study group that meets up every Friday night for about an hour of Bible study. She was a remarkable lady back then. Before marrying Henry, I met both of them in church together, although not in the same bible study group, we became friends.


I remember how I used to follow her and her group of CCFers to go on holiday trips to nearby places and for roller blading evening outs in the weekends and even "makan makan" sessions (eating out sessions) all over town. We had so much fun, so much memories. When we all first met, we were all in our early adulthood lives, newly working people or college people. Throughout the years, every one of us in the group gradually grow up, get married, have a family and even a home bible study group. But we still kept in touch - especially myself, by sending them post cards for Chinese New Year, Christmas and even birthdays. We even still meet from time to time in church - especially on Sundays - or in chats.


Liz is indeed a remarkable lady. After losing contact for a few years, myself growing up, getting married and having my own daughter, we finally meet back again in church. I was devastated to initially know from my mother that Liz is at Stage 4 cancer. I even remember talking to her, asking her.... "Aren´t you scared?" ?  "How does it feel?"


I still remember her smiles, bitter sweet but full of confidence, telling me about her remarkable travel with God for the past 2 years while she battled on with her cancer and Henry and her kids by her side together with the rest of us praying for her. She had a lot of faith in God, compared to many ordinary church goers. Sometimes it was from her I gather my courage and my beliefs that God is always there even during my darkest and saddest moments even right up till today.


To hear from my sister that she is suddenly gone, when just 2 1/2 weeks ago we were just chatting and was saying that we should meet up when I go back Malaysia next year in February is so painful.


I will miss her bravery, her remarkable faith will live in me and all the advices she has given to me will live within me.


Thank You Liz, for making me see many things, especially that miracles do happen when you believe. 
I really miss you alot from 10,000km away from you. I really wish I could just go and meet you one more time. Reminiscing those wonderful moments I spent with the CCFers was my best moments of them all.


To Henry and his two beautiful sons, my prayers will always be with you. ღ♥

Here comes October

October has finally approached.. with it the days are growing shorter, night falls appears way much earlier. Skies turned into complete darkness by the time it´s 8pm and getting earlier and earlier as day goes by. Nights are turning into icy cold, temperature drops tremendously during the night. Even the days are colder now and sometimes its best not to venture outdoors without a jacket. 


It´s been 8 months now since we landed in this foreign land and make ourselves a new home and a new life in this foreign land. With the help of our newfound family and friends, life is slightly easier to pass by.

We have been touring around Berlin - although not the entire city - much in these months. Many valuable photos taken, many memorable moments captured and candid moments captured. We have marked our "spots" with our memories. Friends from all over Berlin, meeting up with friends who came to visit and such. Even Amelia is having alot of fun, although have to say that the older she grows, the more problems she is giving - especially her stubborness and her naughtiness and cheekiness and the ability to don´t listen and obey instructions given. But then again, I guess that´s the way of children. I mustn´t forget, growing up, I was growing in the same direction having my parents yell at me and disciplining me alot also. But then again, I also understand one part...... How much pain it feels to scold or punish your own child *sighs*....... 


Homesickness.........


Amelia misses Grandpa and Grandma alot. Although I know both my parents would love to webcam every day with her, but then again sad to say I had to set "rules".... schooling days I needed Amelia to sleep earlier and besides, due to the time difference it is sometimes hard to comply with the meeting especially during the weekends when we have appointments with friends and such. I know many people get the wrong meaning. They think I am trying to cut off completely home away.

I guess one thing no one will ever understand is how much I miss life back home in Malaysia. Don´t also misunderstand me.... I really love it here, and really love the new life together with Sven, but then, some things are not that easy to be let go or forgotten.

I miss the fact that I used to be independent from men, even my ex husband. At the moment, I am not working and am completely dependable on hubby. Not because I chose to not work, but because of the laws and government here, to work I need to be fluently speaking German and reading - hence my German courses (which apparently I am hating like fucks) at the moment. I loved the fact that I was independent and able to do whatever I want financially also back then. I miss being able to just hang out at the local "mamak" with friends or even with my ex husband when we meet up to hang out with our daughter. I miss being able to drive around town, go window shopping or shopping whenever I want, or to take my daughter to the Bird Park and such back home in KL like how we used to do every weekend.  Ironically, I miss the constant nagging of my parents also *omg*........ Also miss hanging out with "Siao Gu" and her family, or even with Amelia´s great grand mother. I miss going to Dezmond´s place almost every alternate day to hang out in his place just eating dinner that we bought back to his place or order in and even missing Boboy (Jack boy - Dezzie´s dog) alot.

There are moments....... when I am here in Germany, the lonely moments of mine when the flashbacks of every single memory I have with every single person I love in my life - even my ex husband - flashes before my eyes....... every single memory, precious as it may..... But yet.... how did I end up learning to bottle up all my emotions and keeping a "poker face" to everyone?  Guess I had a good teacher all these years........ 


God, I so miss my dad... and my mum... I miss the familiarity of the house I have lived in since a little girl...... I miss being able to just hang out with Baby Jo and all..... 


But then, life has been well for me. God has been protecting, if not me - my baby, alot. We  have a good home here, a great man that loves us equally even though we drive him up the walls daily - especially with our differences (hmmmmmm the Western and Asian differences can be killing at times...... trust me.. I am going through it with hubby most of the time xD), and someone who gave us a 2nd chance at life by showing us that there is still hope. For that, I am grateful to him and to God for bringing this man into our lives.


For those of you reading this back home. Understand this.... staying away doesn´t mean I want to cut all ties. We need time to adjust, especially Amelia. She doesn´t understand the distance gap between us. She doesn´t understand how 10,000km can come between us and her grandparents. Nor does she understand the time difference between Malaysia and Germany. Also, blending in, we have our new lives to go along with. Times may not suit up.


We miss every single one of you back home, especially those we love dearly in our heart.

But now..... we are looking forward to our first Autumn and Winter together.